So I am so excited I have a do over weekend. That is, last week I was ill so I had several things planned: gym, becoming a women of purpose meeting and a meetup that is part cabaret, part variety and some other parts that I don't remember. lol. Any who last week the only thing that was accomplished was the gym. To my suprise there was another date added for becoming a women of purpose and the meetup event since the weather was terrible that Saturday. Yay!
Well today I woke up and was not feeling like the gym.. I think I had some leftover emotional rawness after leaving church.
At church last night I found out to my surprise our 3 day fast had come and gone which i was disappointed because I wanted to be apart of that and we were doing all night prayer. I was excited about the all night prayer because Ive never been apart of that. Then the pastor said everyone had to come up with two scriptures of something that wanted the church to pray about and pray using the scripture. I was panicked ..two scriptures..sure i have my foundational ones but someone is bound to use: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and "There is a season for every activity under heaven." But I needed more ..yes i had a bible in my hand..but it sound like this has to be done by memory. Who springs this up on somebody? Why wasn't this talked about before so I could be prepared. Me don't like surprises. How could he ask this ..this church is about comfort zones...no pressures do what works for you. All of a sudden i was feeling trapped and for once i was in the inner part of the aisle so I couldn't run out. Robin wasn't there cause she's in MD visiting so I felt so alone. I prayed for peace because I knew I was overreacting and of course God supplied it. So they provided dinner (wraps and soup) and said we would fellowship for a half hour and then get right too it. Fellowship...i love it on my own terms but I don't know anybody so I felt so out of place (sure i met people in the few gatherings I've been too before but they've all gotten into their group of friends). so i was like i should talk to the person that is behind me or sitting beside me because no one is talking to them too but Ive never been the friend to approach first. after 20 min the girl behind me tapped and we said a few words but I found it awkward..there wasn't this natural flow.
So its was time for things to get crackin. we did a few worship songs and pastor explained there was a basket of prayers for the church everyone pick one up and started praying for the church using scriptures. I was like Ive been praying to be a prayer warrior for years ...I'm scripture hungry..how come i only know a few scriptures. clearly this is something to be worked on. an answer to a prayer that I didn't even realize i needed. more bible studying for me. The first person went up there and prayed from the basket then pastor asked if anyone had personal needs so hands went up. This guy talked about strife in his home about being a christian and pastor said anyone have a prayer for him. a few hands shot up and he asked those people to come forth, lay hands on him and pray those scriptures for him and pray over him using scriptures. It was so powerful and so emotional and this went on for hours between worship. I'm like what kind of church is this. I was particular moved how one girl had a situation with her father that needed restoration and the pastor asked some women of the church to love on her and about 20 women came from their seats and it was so beautiful and moving to watch. This whole night was amazing! It was informal and he didnt ask everyone come up. It was volunteer basis so I was panicked for nothing and realized how much i can be touched by the love of church.
I think based on the guidelines for noise they had to stop worship at a certain time but prayer continued..at this point i had been at church for 5 hours which i didn't care about but I was emotional drained and done so i left. He left the service open where we could come and go as we pleased. So I went. When I arrived home there was no hanging anything up..just dropped stuff on the floor and crawled into bed.
As for this morning i woke up and was exhausted. i kept trying to pull myself up so i could get to church for my resistance class but finally gave up. I need to listen to my body. It needs to rest and be fed. (literally and spirtually). I may just take a walk before my womens group and get my exercise there and speak onto the Lord. It's nothing like talking to the Lord among nature. I need to listen to my body and my spirit and not what my mind purposed for this morning. We sometimes get in the habit of doing doing and not listening to our bodies.
No comments:
Post a Comment