The first meetup of the new year (2nd meetup for this group) I attended for Becoming A Women of Purpose was held on Feb. 13th. The below was the intro.
Change Your Story, Change Your Life
What's your story?
If you are sticking with your victim story; your story of drama and lack, then don't be surprised if you see more of that in your life.
Yes, horrible things happen in our lives. Yet, we must process it appropriately so that we can grow and move on from it.
When we are dealing with a devastating tragedy or trauma, we need to tell our story until it isn't our story anymore.
That is when we can write a new story -- a new story of peace, forgiveness, wholeness and faith. This will be the story that we live out.
Come and write your new stories! Bring your journals - I will supply the pens!
Initially when i saw this intro i sigh and was thinking i don't see myself as a victim. I actually have a really positive attitude (my upbringing and such had scars and i was a bit negative in my thinking but God came in and changed all of that so i don't know if i should go but I was like the 1st one was so enriching..ill go.) OMG it was what i needed and didn't even know it. We had to introduce ourself with our name and if we had to describe your life story in one word ..only one what would it be and what your grace card (ill tell you more about those later) said that you picked when you came in. so i was like dag..i hate thinking on the spot but i was surprised what word came to mind. It was neglect and my grace card said "Trust-the more we follow our intuition the more we'll find that the right doors open to assist us in fulfilling our life's purpose." WOW! Did i need to hear that. so everyone went around the room and someone said i have an old word and new word and in my mind im like wait we can do that...i want to say my new word. lol! but i didn't. my new word would be journey or discovery or butterfly ( i know more than one word).
Coach Carolyn said whatever your word does your story serve you? She said a story is a reimagined experience or perceived experience narrated with energy & power. Again I'm like WOW! i like that. she said that power illicit an emotion from your listener. So she says if you have a story of loss, grief, trauma you have to tell it till its no longer your story..also retelling it makes it real and you can get clarity and you can release your story. Stories have the ability to 1. offer us hope and 2. keep us victims. There are no victims just volunteers when you allow your story to became a crutch for you. stories are the voice of knowledge.
Our belief systems comes from that. . she said when you're 0-7 years you're like a sponge (good bad indifferent you just receive); at 7 you develop a conscience..you start to form a belief system. adulthood you're operating on those beliefs, we typically don't ask ourselves is this for me? then crisis hits you. then there's trauma (something makes your belief system shift) and you ask yourself what is it i really believe? the story that keeps you stuck, in fear, worried. those story creates stories you don't want. then she goes on to say when you're 17 or 18 we're asked what do you want to do with your life (this is my place where it was just like truth..omg truth) But the better question is what makes your heart sing (she could not have used better words because i was talking to j (my handsome supportive husband) early in the week that i wanted to do something creative that makes my heart sing). She goes on to say that we have to conform and be realistic at 6 or 7 we could be whatever we wanted to be but at 17 or 18 it was time to get real. We don't know how to ask the question did being real work for you (whoever is talking to us).
Im like truth omg! I wanted to be an artist at that age..art is the only constant thing in my life (which i think we've talked about). i think when i was younger art started as a way to escape the anger of my dad and put me in my own world but it became en grained in me then around freshman year my dad was like what are you thinking about doing . I'm like being an artist. hes like there's no money in that you need something secure ..a good job and home (my hopes were dashed). i didn't question it ...he is right so i liked psychology so i began to build dreams around that. Back to Carolyn so shes like sadly a 6 or 7 year old needs to grow up and can no longer express what they want to do...they have to get in a box (i almost wanted to shed a tear cause i never thought about that).
Carolyn has this formula ETFAR (your external events (the thing that happens) causes your Thoughts ..the things that happens in your mind) causes your Feelings (the vibrations that happen in your body) causes Your Actions (what you do in the wld) which lead to Your results (what you see in your world/life)
so she says your E is usually negative experiences which we play over & over again. Example think of a bad movie you saw . u walk out and say it i cant believe i wasted money on this. do you go back to see it a second time..no. but that's what we do with life.. narrate it like a bad movie of our life and even add a soundtrack to it (lol). time to release those stories. get in a place of be then so then have (this is where our values come from).
We need to ask yourself 3 foundational questions: Who am I? What am i here to do? What do I want to have?
My thought process is not that dreaded question of who am i ..i can never answer this...well at this point i could probably name some attributes. my thoughts are interrupted and she said we are divine expressions. job can be taken away. roles can be taken away but we are uniquely wonderfully made (foundational for me because i remember when i first read that in the bible..it made my heart sing) She said we come from a place of divinity. no was created by Jesus or the universe (whatever you believe in) who was bad. we all have a divine assignment . our msg has been given to us to take to the wld. we get caught up and cant deliver our message (im almost felt like she was preaching right there..amen). so she said once i know that im a divine expression i can for m y believe system. what will i not tolerate? (eww another hard question..i know things that shouldn't be tolerated over all but specifically in my life.... that's going to take some pondering). she said we need non-negotiable in order to paint our value system. our new story will have those things .
We need to to begin with the end in mind ..start with the R (in the formula). You can control your R. The E is something that happened but you cant do anything about it. what do you want your life to look like? what are you hear yo do ? (That's the only question i can somewhat answer right now..inspire, create, bring joy & warmth, empower but specifically in what way ) She says imagine your new story ..in technicolor put a soundtrack to it. all the details..who do you want apart of it? who do you need to let go of it (toxic people). To know your story you can take those inspired actions to make it happen. feelings of peace, joy, gratitude. what we agree to comes true for us! it's time to make a new agreement!
We are ourselves so when i begin to tell a new story i agree with it. it becomes true. some of us don't know the real us..if we did we wouldn't tell the stories we tell..we carry things that no longer have anything to do with is.. make a conscious decision to let it go. you are a powerful creator. one way i create is through my story. it can be + pr -. only thing that grows is what you give energy too (truth). if you keep attracting the same thing thats the energy you';re putting out. no more if its -. the story we carry around serve us for some reason or we would have let it ho. so she challenged us to go home write out our story. get out a cup of tea and our journal. there might be things we are nor away of and go back to that story and circle all the emotional charged words. get a sheet of paper ..fold it one side those words the other side the opposite.. from these words create a new story, make an agreement. what u agree comes true for u. action is needed you need to take inspired action. leave how out of your vocabulary. once you fear you get stuck. we hear when God closes one door he opens another bit so often we concentrate so much on the closed door we don't notice the open (truth again..scream) the close door is safe and what we know even though we don't want it but your new story is through that window. we fear the window..but its for your growth and good. be open. recognize obstacles that come your way r disguised as opportunities. thats how we miss it.see it for the opportunity that is is. she said a quote by Michael somebody. if you begin each day as a grand adventure then you become a candidate of revelation (love it). take some action on your own soundtrack. one of the worst things you want is to have regrets. show up for yourself there's a story to release. take something and make it an intention.
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