Beginning of our Sacred Friday Word-Clarity
Eventhough I just picked the sacred friday word this morning and sent it to Carey. It's amazing the clarity I'm starting to see. I almost feel bad writing about this so early but I want to capture what I am feeling.
Ive been feeling blocked art wise for a week or so and wasnt sure why. i cancelled the remaining two weeks of Feb sessions with DM.I have intended productive days planned and end up watching Grey's Anatomy. I havent worked out in two weeks. Ive been exhausted. today was the 1st day I havent felt exhausted. I bought some modeling clay a couple of weeks ago from the$store and finally played with it this weekend and and it actually helped me to realize a few things. ..you can even say I was given clarity.
I'm yet again blocked and I believe bored with my current artistic state.... current like the last two weeks or so. I love working with the pastels medium since DM introduced me but now am feeling bored like i need to be introduced to something new. I have no interest whatsoever to draw yet I crave it. Im using Grey's as a distraction so I dont do what i need to do. i feel rejuvenated because i listened to my body and actually got about 7 hours of sleep which is wonderful and ate a bigger breakfast.this $ store molding clay is so simplistic in terms of clay a child would use but ive never used clay as a child. as im looking at these 9 sticks of clay im wondering what to do i do with them. i have no picture in my head no tools....so i just start to play with them. this clay seem foreign which it is...i dont know how to approach this because it requires my imagination. i dont ever feel like im using imagination...i draw and create from pictures but to create something out of thin air what does that look like. I was thinking a couple of weeks ago that i want to do some original art..i know whatever an artist creates is original but i dont want a known foundation i just want to create. none of this seemed to come together until today. i need to create something out of nothing. the first day i used the clay on 2/18 i ended up creating a flower, snake, ring, and what looked like a woman in a car. no major details..in fact it looks like a child could have done it...but i was proud of my achievement. Two days later i just took the flower, snake, ring, and woman and put it together in a big ball so nothing but various colors existed. i played with it and it looked like a brain, then another was a fetus, another a carrot, another a fish, another an ice cream cone and another teenage mutant ninja turtle head (that was something my hubby told me..i was like isnt this a character from a video game but once he said that i was like yes it does). after each creation i would walk to him and show him like a child who is proud of their creation and want to show it to their mom or dad. Now im realizing that is what i want my art to feel like ...one with wonder, excitement, surprise, building something from scratch with no idea what the finished product will look like. I love my zone moment i get but what i need is almost a childlike way about my art and thats what I am going to explore. Very timely actually is I joined a craft meetup because I wanted to introduce myself to different types of art especially since i dont find myself "crafty". I thought this would be a learning experience...well this coming monday the 28th im attending my second crafts night and its hosted by an artist who has done a drawing lab book. can I say i feel like its God directing me once again? It's apparently not the traditional drawing book but exercises to help blocked creative artists or people who dont think that can draw by giving them exercises to just have fun. This sounds exactly what i need. i think i needed to take time away from DM (as much as I adore it) so i can realign my priorities, figure out what i need, have that quiet time, and be able to return to her with what im feeling and needing in this moment. clarity!
Ive been feeling blocked art wise for a week or so and wasnt sure why. i cancelled the remaining two weeks of Feb sessions with DM.I have intended productive days planned and end up watching Grey's Anatomy. I havent worked out in two weeks. Ive been exhausted. today was the 1st day I havent felt exhausted. I bought some modeling clay a couple of weeks ago from the$store and finally played with it this weekend and and it actually helped me to realize a few things. ..you can even say I was given clarity.
I'm yet again blocked and I believe bored with my current artistic state.... current like the last two weeks or so. I love working with the pastels medium since DM introduced me but now am feeling bored like i need to be introduced to something new. I have no interest whatsoever to draw yet I crave it. Im using Grey's as a distraction so I dont do what i need to do. i feel rejuvenated because i listened to my body and actually got about 7 hours of sleep which is wonderful and ate a bigger breakfast.this $ store molding clay is so simplistic in terms of clay a child would use but ive never used clay as a child. as im looking at these 9 sticks of clay im wondering what to do i do with them. i have no picture in my head no tools....so i just start to play with them. this clay seem foreign which it is...i dont know how to approach this because it requires my imagination. i dont ever feel like im using imagination...i draw and create from pictures but to create something out of thin air what does that look like. I was thinking a couple of weeks ago that i want to do some original art..i know whatever an artist creates is original but i dont want a known foundation i just want to create. none of this seemed to come together until today. i need to create something out of nothing. the first day i used the clay on 2/18 i ended up creating a flower, snake, ring, and what looked like a woman in a car. no major details..in fact it looks like a child could have done it...but i was proud of my achievement. Two days later i just took the flower, snake, ring, and woman and put it together in a big ball so nothing but various colors existed. i played with it and it looked like a brain, then another was a fetus, another a carrot, another a fish, another an ice cream cone and another teenage mutant ninja turtle head (that was something my hubby told me..i was like isnt this a character from a video game but once he said that i was like yes it does). after each creation i would walk to him and show him like a child who is proud of their creation and want to show it to their mom or dad. Now im realizing that is what i want my art to feel like ...one with wonder, excitement, surprise, building something from scratch with no idea what the finished product will look like. I love my zone moment i get but what i need is almost a childlike way about my art and thats what I am going to explore. Very timely actually is I joined a craft meetup because I wanted to introduce myself to different types of art especially since i dont find myself "crafty". I thought this would be a learning experience...well this coming monday the 28th im attending my second crafts night and its hosted by an artist who has done a drawing lab book. can I say i feel like its God directing me once again? It's apparently not the traditional drawing book but exercises to help blocked creative artists or people who dont think that can draw by giving them exercises to just have fun. This sounds exactly what i need. i think i needed to take time away from DM (as much as I adore it) so i can realign my priorities, figure out what i need, have that quiet time, and be able to return to her with what im feeling and needing in this moment. clarity!
Investing more into HR
I love how lately Ive been getting a "light bulb switch" moments and today is one of those days. I realized I really need to be investing in my career...yes I'm doing this with the gba certification but i mean on a daily basis. I'm subscribed to HR newsletters but i dont read them due to lack of time. i love blogs yet last week was the first time i thought about looking at HR blogs There is so many free resources at my fingertips that i am not taking advantage of that i need too so along with making art a priority ...im also going to make HR one as well. In the almost 7 years come March 1 at my job God has blessed me with three positions and i feel like i need to invest in my future for whats more to come.
Months back I was asked if I was intrested in a job opportunity as a Generalist supporting three or four specific divisions. Around christmas my VP who offered me the job said give him some patience while he figures out the salary. It is now February and he hasnt come back to me which is fine because I like my job. But i was/am a bit concerned that he has hired a Generalist starting Wed (1 out of 3) and still has not come back to me with salary info. Im not sure if he changed his mind but of course my mind has thoughts of "Of course he finds someone else....you werent qualified" "You were kidding yourself anyway thinking you could do this this is way over your head" "You said you wanted them to find the right person for the position well clearly you were not it." I immediately shut down those thoughts and said what's for me God will certainly have for me. i want to approach my VP but something is telling me to be still and i believe its God. Because last week I heard nothing in my spirit but "Do not be discouraged for I am your God.". When i heard that I thought i'm not discouraged...oh lawd what is done the pike. lol.But it doesnt matter what is down the pike ...it matters where my trust lies and its in God. Negative talk has no home here not anymore. This recent hire of the first generalist may have all spurred my investment in HR...actually im sure it has something to do with it because i think i wouldnt feel unqualified if i was constantly learning. At the end of the day we are the only people that can be responsible for our career.
Months back I was asked if I was intrested in a job opportunity as a Generalist supporting three or four specific divisions. Around christmas my VP who offered me the job said give him some patience while he figures out the salary. It is now February and he hasnt come back to me which is fine because I like my job. But i was/am a bit concerned that he has hired a Generalist starting Wed (1 out of 3) and still has not come back to me with salary info. Im not sure if he changed his mind but of course my mind has thoughts of "Of course he finds someone else....you werent qualified" "You were kidding yourself anyway thinking you could do this this is way over your head" "You said you wanted them to find the right person for the position well clearly you were not it." I immediately shut down those thoughts and said what's for me God will certainly have for me. i want to approach my VP but something is telling me to be still and i believe its God. Because last week I heard nothing in my spirit but "Do not be discouraged for I am your God.". When i heard that I thought i'm not discouraged...oh lawd what is done the pike. lol.But it doesnt matter what is down the pike ...it matters where my trust lies and its in God. Negative talk has no home here not anymore. This recent hire of the first generalist may have all spurred my investment in HR...actually im sure it has something to do with it because i think i wouldnt feel unqualified if i was constantly learning. At the end of the day we are the only people that can be responsible for our career.
5 Words
I saw this question posed in my readings today: What are 5 words by which you make decisions and align your life…what would YOUR words be? 5 words..thats way too little...off the top of my head my words are: Authenticity, Prayer, Love, Loyalty, and Creativity.
Drawing....gosh when was the last time i did that?
Ok i JUST realized that when i dont go to DM regulary I no longer draw in my own time and thats not good. I mean the last time I drew was when i was finishing up my sketchbook project and that was Jan. 17th. eventhough that isn't THAT long ago its long enough because as of tomorrow thats 3 weeks and if im committing to my art i cant have lack of production. I've been reading a variety of artistic things today and someone suggested drawing three X a week for at least 15 minutes and that seems really reasonable and attainable. (I need to schedule it in..i work well with plans..if it's a plan it i dont change it--i am such a creature of habit). I feel that my artistic side of me has partly been taking a back seat because im working out more thereby getting home at 10:30 once i have dinner relaxed with hubby..drawing is the last thing on my mind so for the remainder of February.... Im going to continue my turbo jam only (no gym) and take those extra hours focusing on my artistic side.
Quest to find artists i love/like-week 1
Hubby and i watched a movie called Little Ashes" weeks ago and i had never heard of Salvador dali so I of course google his artwork...can i say omg...his artwork is AMAZING! He definitely is on my list of fav artists and i want to explore more of his artwork. This got me thinking outside of Thomas kinkade i dont have a list of fav artist(s) and i should. So i'm starting a quest to brush up on more artists ...once a week im going to talk about the artists i find....
Starting with Salvador.... his paintings has such vivid color and the ones i like is not his normal still life or portrait...it's more of his eh...lets say unusual work. The pieces that i consider my favs are not the eccentric pieces but he defintely has eccentric pieces. I have to say his artwork is one that has elicited more than an emotional response. when i first saw some of his pieces..it really intrigued me and made me wonder whats going on here..whats the back story.My fav I've looked out thus far are Vision of a Face, Landscapes with Butterflies, Apparition of Face and Fruit Dish on a Beach. He has an extensive amount of oil paintings so I know i wasnt going to get through them all tonight but it's a start.
Starting with Salvador.... his paintings has such vivid color and the ones i like is not his normal still life or portrait...it's more of his eh...lets say unusual work. The pieces that i consider my favs are not the eccentric pieces but he defintely has eccentric pieces. I have to say his artwork is one that has elicited more than an emotional response. when i first saw some of his pieces..it really intrigued me and made me wonder whats going on here..whats the back story.My fav I've looked out thus far are Vision of a Face, Landscapes with Butterflies, Apparition of Face and Fruit Dish on a Beach. He has an extensive amount of oil paintings so I know i wasnt going to get through them all tonight but it's a start.
Art Cluster group-Week 3
After having an exhausting week as i mentioned in my last post i had my artists cluster group this morning. i was so exhausted after getting 4 hours of sleep that i overslept and was 30 min late to the cluster group which actually worked out in my favor cause only 3 people out of 9 showed up today so i think they were happy another person came. These clusters group are AMAZING!I feel more encouraged each time I go. We are on Chapter 3 "Recovering a Sense of power" which i identified with so much. i liked as much as the 1st chapter. The thing that spoke to me in this chapter is the inclusion of God. It says: "God knows that the sky's the limit". "Ask and you shall receive. knock and it shall be opened to you. "God helps those who can help themselves ...theres an amazing number of small free gifts the creator showers on those who are helping themselves to a little bounty. If you do one nice thing a day for yourself. God will do two more. Be alert for support and encouragement from unexpected quarters. be open to receiving gifts from odd channels: free tickets, a free trip, an offer to buy you dinner. practicing saying yes to such help. "(This all so beautiful and encouraging and reminding us that in order to recover a sense of power we must recognize who gives us the power....who aligns things in our life for his will. we must remove shame, what we think is "synchronicity", and how we deal with criticism but now its time too explore this creative person i am..the strengths and gifts and remember who gives it to us). i also liked how the chapter talks about anger and how its meant to be listened to and be respected because anger is a map. i never really looked at anger. I was actually one of the people that the book mentions stuffs it or denys it. I liked how the book says anger is is a sign of health ..anger points the direction ..we are to use anger as a fuel to take the actions we need to move where our anger points us.
I found a quote i love in the book that i put on facebook "I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues."-Duke Ellington
I mean how many of us would take that advice..stop pouting, saying that we cant do this or fill in the blank and just do it.
p. 62 Answered prayers are scary. They imply responsibility. You asked for it. Now that you've got it, what are you going to do. Answered prayers deliver us back to our hand.
(Love this. I know i could raise my hand on that)
pg.65 I have learned, as a rule of thumb not to ask whether you can do something. say instead you are doing it. then fasten your seat beat. The most remarkable things follow. (Lord help me to receive this because i know this is true.
I identified with the book when it says "making art may feel like telling a family secret". Because my art is so vulnerable to me...its so raw...what will they think of me if i share this. The book says "art brings things to light. it illuminates us. It sheds light on our lingering darkness. it casts a beam into the heart of our darkness ans says "see?" ( I love that)
I could point out a few more things about this chapter but alas i'll leave that to my journal. the point of writing this is the things above is what i need to nurture my inner artist. i realized how gratifying these sunday cluster groups but the problem is i leave the rewarding experiences, thoughts, feelings, lessons on sunday. i dont carry these things daily and i need to do that. Just as joyce devotional gets my day started right and just sets the tone for my day when i read it before I leave for work...I need to read the companion book hubby got me for Christmas "the artist way to every day...a year of creative living). I need to do this. my soul needs it.
I have been resistant to the morning pages..ive done them maybe 4xs 2 weeks ago and it was good and fulfilling but everytime i go to write i dont see it as a point nor do i see the priority. But i need to get over that because it not about what i see ...if i went by that I wouldn't be here..its about whats necessary. the tools im using to get unblocked. learning things about myself. After all i think thats what the cluster group is doing by being with like minded individuals reading the artists way. I'm unearthing things about myself and i love it.
I found a quote i love in the book that i put on facebook "I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues."-Duke Ellington
I mean how many of us would take that advice..stop pouting, saying that we cant do this or fill in the blank and just do it.
p. 62 Answered prayers are scary. They imply responsibility. You asked for it. Now that you've got it, what are you going to do. Answered prayers deliver us back to our hand.
(Love this. I know i could raise my hand on that)
pg.65 I have learned, as a rule of thumb not to ask whether you can do something. say instead you are doing it. then fasten your seat beat. The most remarkable things follow. (Lord help me to receive this because i know this is true.
I identified with the book when it says "making art may feel like telling a family secret". Because my art is so vulnerable to me...its so raw...what will they think of me if i share this. The book says "art brings things to light. it illuminates us. It sheds light on our lingering darkness. it casts a beam into the heart of our darkness ans says "see?" ( I love that)
I could point out a few more things about this chapter but alas i'll leave that to my journal. the point of writing this is the things above is what i need to nurture my inner artist. i realized how gratifying these sunday cluster groups but the problem is i leave the rewarding experiences, thoughts, feelings, lessons on sunday. i dont carry these things daily and i need to do that. Just as joyce devotional gets my day started right and just sets the tone for my day when i read it before I leave for work...I need to read the companion book hubby got me for Christmas "the artist way to every day...a year of creative living). I need to do this. my soul needs it.
I have been resistant to the morning pages..ive done them maybe 4xs 2 weeks ago and it was good and fulfilling but everytime i go to write i dont see it as a point nor do i see the priority. But i need to get over that because it not about what i see ...if i went by that I wouldn't be here..its about whats necessary. the tools im using to get unblocked. learning things about myself. After all i think thats what the cluster group is doing by being with like minded individuals reading the artists way. I'm unearthing things about myself and i love it.
Exhausting and ewww kind of week
I have had a pretty exhausting week...not that it was filled with activities but i havent been able to sleep partly because we have a mouse or mice and i just havent been able to sleep . yep mice! how wonderful:( it started out with this terrible smell coming from the living room and when i woke up the next day it was worse and after some sniffing i narrowed it down to one area. told hubby ...he investigated and found a decomposing mouse behind our bookcase. great! ughhh and then hubby and both (on separate occasions saw a mouse jump out from behind the microwave and dove behind the stove). Thursday hubby said he saw a "cute" baby mouse come behind the christmas tree. hubby bought enclosed traps that same day online online and peppermint oil (which they apparently hate). traps caught one by Saturday morning seeing that the lever was up (yay) and as i held the empty bag for hubby disposed i screamed and ran into the living room...ewww. and as we moved back the stove a little but we saw a baby mouse dead starting to decompose. the good thing is we have poison in our house because winter time is when you will see a mouse so thankfully when we saw the occurrence we checked the poison and some had be eaten so we knew it was just a matter of time before we find one. hopefully not inside of a wall. i heard that takes months before the smell disappers if one dies in your walls. Hubby reassured me that this is common for nyc..at least im not infested like some people he knows and went on to read me stories from the internet about true invasions and i have to say that did not help. Seeing that our total is 3 now im afraid we are infested. ewwww..ive never had mouse in my house except for my 1st year in ny and know going into my third i have a dag on family. scary! so yeah before i told the whole ending of the story ..the mouse have been scratching at night and you can hear them burrowing and making noises...so its left me feeling creeped out and wide awake. hopefully next week will be better
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