Last Tuesday, as I was packing for my DC work trip for several days. I was throwing a tantrum in my head saying, "I dont feel like going. I'm exhausted. WAhhhh. Why Can't I stay." Of course I dragged myself on the afternoon train and fell asleep.Little did I know it was exactly what was needed.
I woke up frantic because i was on a train that DC isnt the last stop like normal but luckily i was one stop away. As i got off the train I felt a bit different and couldn't place why. Got in a cab to my parents house and engaged in a convo with one of the most talkative cab drivers ever. He mentioned what a beautiful smile I had and how that made his day because most people get in with a grimace and an attitude. He went on to say we have no idea the gifts we can give people even when we think we have nothing. A smile and a kind word is alot. I thought what a suprising and beautiful statement that was. As I talked to the cab driver I realized how much alive I had become..even dare I say my ol' chipper self which i havent seen in so long because shes been buried in exhausation during the weekday. I got my hair done which always make me feel better and drove back to my parents and was in bed by 11:30which never happens in NY. Let me say it was the most sound sleep.
I woke up early (7 a.m.) to get ready for work (I know for some 7:00 is a normal time (and dare i say even late especially for my wonderful friends who are mothers) to start to get ready for work so you can get there by 8:30/9 but in NY I dont get to work till 10:30 so its early for me). Anyway, I noticed I was not exhausted as I am normally and I did not hit snooze my normal 10 times. When I got on the subway, a passenger said good morning and at first I had to look around to see who she was talking to. I quickly realized it was me and returned the greeting with a smile. Sadly, I cant remember the last time I received a greeting on the subway. I went to work and was showered with love and hugs as always. That never gets old because NY office is never like that. My day was packed but suprisingly by the end of the day i was energized. Without going into the details of the rest of the week which pretty much followed Wednesday. I realized DC rejenevated me. First time ever! In the midst of my complaining about coming here I didnt realize it was the very place that could rejuvenate me. I remember in that instant the Lord ways are not our ways. I feel like God totally turned this trip into what i needed physically. Eventhough DC was causing me the exhaustion for all the back and forth he was able to use that same thing to bring me rejuvenation. By Thursday I put the pieces together and realized this. God took me away from the busy nature of my beloved NY where I'm constantly on the go. A place that everyone is going at such a fast pace to DC. Robin even mentioned to me the solace could also be in NY my schedule is so packed. When she said that theres so much truth. I dont get home until 10ish in NY. In DC I'm at my parents home by 6pm and i just chill out ...nothing additional.
At the end of my trip in DC I returned home and hubby even commented on how happy i seemed and was kind of approaching me like im not sure how to take this especially because i had a bit of zen-ness on top of it.lol!
I was so looking forward to Monday and today because eventhough I had a busy weekend I took off those days because i knew i would need them...not knowing DC would rejuvenate me. I told my boss i was taking off those days there was no permission in my voice. Like i was telling Carey I realized I needed some self care before i burned out. So my voice was emerging because we are talking about the betterment of me.
Its nice to be off. But why is it your days off never turn out like you want them? Yesterday went by so fast with cleaning the house which i find theraputic and listening to a professional development class and watching a romance. Today I'm trying to be more purposeful with my day. First off I got up really early 6:30. Not intentional at all (lol) I thought it was 8:30 and to my suprise I was going to roll over but I said maybe its meant i start my last day off early. So I started to clean the house and then listened to one of my professional and personal development courses which was called "How to Develop Your Own Personal Statement." I've only listened to an hour of this audio book but i think this is exactly what i needed to listen to. Reminds me of the scripture in the bible where it says Write your vision down, make it plain on paper. I'm sure I'll do a seperate posting about this at some point because theres this exercise in the story that I'm going to try that involves getting by yourself in nature. On my day off I also decided to write in my blog and listen to Hillsong on youtube. i plan to have some creative time as well..just havent decided what yet but its necessary. I broke down in my last artists way group two sundays ago due to exhausation and not creating art and since then I've been feeling the need to create more and more. I even went to my sketching group on Sunday. Yay!
Over the course of the day i will meditate, pray, read the word, listen to Joel and to christian and nature infused music and have a glass of wine. Because i want to fill my well up today.
