I identified with Albert Einstein quote of Insanity:
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
When i look at my life, that is, the thing I want to change most which is my:physical appearence...my weight.
I keep trying to lose weight..serious weight 70 lbs worth just to lose and gain the same 15 lbs over and over again. That is Insanity! The boiling point has been reached ions ago. Getting back into a "program" has never been my problem. Sustaining it.Enjoying it. Being successful at it is. Everything starts in the mind and spirit. The time has come now to bring everything together. One day after I decided to join Weight Watchers because I've tried to do this on my own and it isnt working and I have to be honest with myself that it isnt working. So after my free meeting the next day I joined and it is the best decesion and I can tell that in just the month and a half Ive been a member. Ive found the support i need. I see the change in my eating habits. I no longer feel deprived.I am no longer caught up in the number but actually being conscious of the change happening in my mind.I just described all the things that are important for sustaining weight loss. Next, I looked at my exercise routine..Turbo Jam which is great but I felt i also needed something else to give me variety..so I tried variety of exercise classes two of which I love..Zumba and Hip Hop. Fun classes..not something I would normally pick because I have no rhythym but thats exactly why I need to take those classes. Because its not about what I cant do. Its about the experience. Its about the transformation that can happen. Its about I have no idea what one thing may parlay into another. I decided to get a pedometer and I started walking at least 2 miles a day.
With the aid of all these things I can see inches lost, based on the scale 5 lbs lost...slower than i may like but probably exactly how I need to.
I can feel the outer casing of myself sheding even with this minimal weight loss and thats because i'm no longer intrested in living a life thats not me giving 100% in everything. I'm intrested in letting the steph within bloom and come forth in full potential. I am no longer waiting from a far but making a conscious effort. I'm intrested in allowing my voice to emerge ..not always stuffing down how i feel but being as transparent as i can.Because we only have one life to live. God has given us this life to live it abundantely and ive learned that years ago and believed it and walking it slowly but surely but now its time tomake more of a conscious effort. Ask myself the questions of what I want out of my life. What skills need to be developed? What's holding me back? What can i explore? What is my vision? How can I develop myseld creatively as well?
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