kym has texted to check on me which is really sweet but unnecessary i am the same..the exact same. i know i can shake myself out of this but i dont know if i want to. why am i not in a celebratory mood instead of feeling defeated.
i need to get a grip. afterall if j can be joyous after losing a parent and looking forward to a new year wth is wrong with me. i have no excuse.
okay im gonna to take a shower, clean up my living/dining room, put on some make up and a dress and pull myself together a new year is a time of new possibilities and to correct some things that should have been corrected..heck a new day is a start over. Gods mercy and grace is renewing. eventhough i dont feel like doing this i need to do this. J mentioned something to me last night while we were talking and i made a comment of oh no i dont get up that early to do anything..he said why dont you....why don’t you do all the things that you are uncomfortable doing and see how my life has changed in a year. hmmm not a bad idea. a bit scary but not a bad idea. im going to do that..ill think of things tomorrow and give my page a facelift. Goodbye until tomorrow.
December 31 2010
who cares? this is my funk talking i know. but for the first time i dont care that its ny eve ...i just care i failed my exam. i know their are worse things in life. but i do well with big things..the small things break me to my core. this has to be the 1st year in 5 or 6 years that i didnt spend my day in prayer and reflection. like i said im mad at God and js response is isnt that why you should be spending your time with him. the days is not up. thanks guru but no thanks.
ughhhhhh...failing my exam has put a damper on everything and i dont want to let go. thats why i spent most of this day asleep. yes i didnt wake up till 6:30pm and its 10:11 now. this year has just been a year of change and i want next year to be a year of transformation. but right now i just want to erase yesterday ..erase this sickness thats left and this horrible hacking slight cough that leaves my chest bone hurting. erase erase erase
ughhhhhh...failing my exam has put a damper on everything and i dont want to let go. thats why i spent most of this day asleep. yes i didnt wake up till 6:30pm and its 10:11 now. this year has just been a year of change and i want next year to be a year of transformation. but right now i just want to erase yesterday ..erase this sickness thats left and this horrible hacking slight cough that leaves my chest bone hurting. erase erase erase
CEBS 2 Exam
Yesterday was my CEBS 2 exam (1 of the two exams needed before i complete the gba (group benefits associate) certification and i Failed. I am utterly devastated and have moved into stage 2 : depression and in the next week stage 3: next steps.
This is the course that ive taken for the second time most recently took in Fall 2009 and started studying of and on again as of sept 2010 so i could prepare for the dec exam. december got crazy with work stuff (open enrollment)...bringing work home...working late that my studying took a back seat. not to mention ive been sick. so within the past week or two ive been studying and really improved my practice test score. i first took the practice exam my score was 47% (ouch)....as of last saturday it was 80% (yay) and then sickness on my bday hit and two days went out the window of studying but eventhough i felt like crap. i did it. i felt confident. i prayed about it. i pulled a word out of the basket of how i should feel about the exam and it was encouraged. i read encouraging scriptures among studying. i took the exam....1st run..i finished within 45 min..the second time i look through each answer carefully and took up the whole 2 hours...completed the survey and the screen said i was unsuccessful. i could have balled but held it together until i got out of the building and broke down crying. oh before i left the building they give you the same darn piece of paper showing you failed. Thanks:(
i wanted to freaking scream but didnt. so crushed. so disappointed. i felt like a total total failure. this was the worst way to end a year on a certification that ive spent way too long acquiring. im pissed. i know i have no reason to be angry at God but im like why did you let me feel encouraged to be crushed. why did you even let this door be open. i just bought materials and if i take the exam again im going to have to buy all new materials because a new edition came out along with pay the full fee for an exam which is about 1000. im so done.
i told j before i left ..if you dont receive a text i failed so he already figured.
i came in the door..went straight to the bedroom took off everything cut out the light got under the covers and balled. then j came in and said do you want to be alone and i nodded but he couldnt see me so he held me and said hes sorry but hes proud of me and whatever else i wasnt receiving. i was devastated and he said im not going to let you wallow. why not. thats what i would like to do. havent gotten my weight under control. failure. i havent passed the exam failure. im a failure and he was telling me im not im just emotional. whatever. kym, kia remembered me telling them i was taking it and gave me words of encouragement that i couldnt hear, receive, or acknowledge. i was done. in my usual steph state i could but thats not who they are talking to they are talking to devastated steph. i know how well meaning my friends are and i appreciate but i hope none of my other best friends remember me talk about taking the exam because im just not in a place to hear sorry well wishes (well one of them reads this so i sure she will). this has just been a sucky start to my 31st year. j did distract me for a number of hours after i stopped crying and woe is me and failure. but day 2 ive moved into depression..greys anatomy was providing a distraction when i didnt go to sleep last night and i stayed up till 10 am watching it but not anymore. i dont even see a point of pursuing this certification. wth am i doing
Looking at my history with this...i originally wanted to get the full cebs certifications (8 classes) then decided to go for the 3 classes gba (one the of the exams i passed doesnt fulfill one of the three). j said the below track record proves nothing except i took some time off in between my exams and i think it does...im wasting my time. j says im not a quitter. maybe i should be. i dont even feel like writing anymore about this...
LOSERRRRRRRR
When did this so called road of certification begin?began in fall 06
CEBS Course 8 at catholic university—took the exam and passed late Jan 07
CEBS Course 1 march 07 failed
CEBS Course 2 May 2007(didn’t show up)
CEBS Course 3 June 2007 (didn’t show up)
CEBS Course 1 June 2007 (didn’t show up)
CEBS Course 1 June 2009 passed
CEBS Course 2 dec 2010 failed
Shall I even bother to pursue?
This is the course that ive taken for the second time most recently took in Fall 2009 and started studying of and on again as of sept 2010 so i could prepare for the dec exam. december got crazy with work stuff (open enrollment)...bringing work home...working late that my studying took a back seat. not to mention ive been sick. so within the past week or two ive been studying and really improved my practice test score. i first took the practice exam my score was 47% (ouch)....as of last saturday it was 80% (yay) and then sickness on my bday hit and two days went out the window of studying but eventhough i felt like crap. i did it. i felt confident. i prayed about it. i pulled a word out of the basket of how i should feel about the exam and it was encouraged. i read encouraging scriptures among studying. i took the exam....1st run..i finished within 45 min..the second time i look through each answer carefully and took up the whole 2 hours...completed the survey and the screen said i was unsuccessful. i could have balled but held it together until i got out of the building and broke down crying. oh before i left the building they give you the same darn piece of paper showing you failed. Thanks:(
i wanted to freaking scream but didnt. so crushed. so disappointed. i felt like a total total failure. this was the worst way to end a year on a certification that ive spent way too long acquiring. im pissed. i know i have no reason to be angry at God but im like why did you let me feel encouraged to be crushed. why did you even let this door be open. i just bought materials and if i take the exam again im going to have to buy all new materials because a new edition came out along with pay the full fee for an exam which is about 1000. im so done.
i told j before i left ..if you dont receive a text i failed so he already figured.
i came in the door..went straight to the bedroom took off everything cut out the light got under the covers and balled. then j came in and said do you want to be alone and i nodded but he couldnt see me so he held me and said hes sorry but hes proud of me and whatever else i wasnt receiving. i was devastated and he said im not going to let you wallow. why not. thats what i would like to do. havent gotten my weight under control. failure. i havent passed the exam failure. im a failure and he was telling me im not im just emotional. whatever. kym, kia remembered me telling them i was taking it and gave me words of encouragement that i couldnt hear, receive, or acknowledge. i was done. in my usual steph state i could but thats not who they are talking to they are talking to devastated steph. i know how well meaning my friends are and i appreciate but i hope none of my other best friends remember me talk about taking the exam because im just not in a place to hear sorry well wishes (well one of them reads this so i sure she will). this has just been a sucky start to my 31st year. j did distract me for a number of hours after i stopped crying and woe is me and failure. but day 2 ive moved into depression..greys anatomy was providing a distraction when i didnt go to sleep last night and i stayed up till 10 am watching it but not anymore. i dont even see a point of pursuing this certification. wth am i doing
Looking at my history with this...i originally wanted to get the full cebs certifications (8 classes) then decided to go for the 3 classes gba (one the of the exams i passed doesnt fulfill one of the three). j said the below track record proves nothing except i took some time off in between my exams and i think it does...im wasting my time. j says im not a quitter. maybe i should be. i dont even feel like writing anymore about this...
LOSERRRRRRRR
When did this so called road of certification begin?began in fall 06
CEBS Course 8 at catholic university—took the exam and passed late Jan 07
CEBS Course 1 march 07 failed
CEBS Course 2 May 2007(didn’t show up)
CEBS Course 3 June 2007 (didn’t show up)
CEBS Course 1 June 2007 (didn’t show up)
CEBS Course 1 June 2009 passed
CEBS Course 2 dec 2010 failed
Shall I even bother to pursue?
Happy 31st Birthday to me!
My birthday was six days ago which is unbelievable that soo many days went by so quickly. I intended to write that day but that didn’t happen since I got sick (AGAIN). My birthday was celebrated a week or so early by my hubby and sister (I'll just copy and paste what I sent carey when I told her and then talk about the actual day)
J surprised me with early Christmas/birthday tickets to In the Heights which ive wanted to see for years. It was so funny how it went down. j, robin, and I have been trying to see harry potter but my sickness have made us postpone and j promised a friend he would bring her along when we saw it but he didn’t think it would be till January and robin said forget that I cant wait so she told me to meet her someplace before the movies..she had to pick something up. i spazzed and thought she said somewhere else (like i was on 38 when it should have been 48) so im like ill just meet you at the 42nd theatre and in my head im thinking why am i meeting her early when i work close to the theater but i didn’t say anything. so since i spazzed im like ill just meet you at the theatre and she s like n still meet me we got time. This was Friday btw so she called to see where I was and I tried to tell her but had no voice so we finally meet up and we are walking through the theater district and im like why are walking here (in my head)...maybe she knows a shortcut and she pulls us tickets and im like hmm that looks different than the reg tickets and i look closer and i see "in the heights" and i jumped up and down and said if i could scream i would lol. they were awesome seats..like 4th from the front. I love love love the show and when I got home i opened up my door and i saw this wonderful surprise on the dining room table (see attached photo) candlelight and my fav crumbs cupcake with a candle (you know the one that makes my world abetter place that i found last winter..its seasonal) with sushi one of my fav and wine. I again jumped up and down and j was like the tickets were from me and the cupcakes are from robin. awww im so touched. so we had a great fam dinner. then Saturday I woke up and j and I were chilling talking and I told him how much I love love my gifts and he said I hope you're not disappointed that you celebrated your bday early ..i know how you dont like that. are you kidding...with these suprises..who cares.lol. he said i have one more gift ..I was like r u serious so I closed my eyes and it was white chocloate bars from Italy (he found a 3rd party distributor that sells the white chocloate bars I fell in love with on our honeymoon in this small town of Perugia). Scream. so that brought me to tears. so all and all its good.
For my actual birthday i made a spa appointment for Elizabeth arden . it had been sooo long since my last spa appointment (like bridal shower long) that i knew for my 31st year i just want to relax. Originally my appointment was in MD but when our Christmas plans changed for us to stay in NY instead of going to MD I had to make a switcharoo. since I had been to Elizabeth in MD I didn’t think I needed to check reviews. however i checked them afterwards and reviews were awful re: service and decor and lack of upkeep. I was horrified..definately not what I had in mind. Hopefully the reviews are wrong and I later found out they were. Im not sure what some of those other reviewers are used to but it was a wonderful spa (let me not jump ahead so rewind). So I woke up a bit too early for me at 8:30 to arrive at my spa appointment at 10:45 (I have an hr commute to get into the city). I opened up my two birthday cards and presents (one from my parents and the other from Carey) and got my day started. My mom was the first birthday phone call received (only fitting) followed by two happy birthday texts. I had breakfast but cant remember what..it wasn’t memorable. I left the house with my snow boots (which I was not happy that it was supposed to snow on my day eventhough I had no plans after the spa I HATE SNOW so I was not looking forward to being out in it).
I had an “Its my birthday bounce” that no one else in the streets is aware of. Lol.
Got on and off the subway an hour later in Manhattan to be greeted with huge snowflakes. Ugh was my expression. As I hurried past street full of tourists taking pics of the snow and snow in ny …..I finally found Elizabeth arden. It was a big red door.
I was greeted warmly and ushered to the 9th floor (I was a bit taken back that there was so many floors). Again warmly greeted upon exiting the elevators and once I gave my name a man said right this way Mrs. Walters and opened the door to the spa area (I loved that!)
I got changed in my robe and slippers and got some water and a couple of veggie chips which everyone raved about in the reviews that I could not believe people made a point to mention in their reviews and sat down on the l shaped blue couch with different shape toss pillows in blue and white. Breathing in relaxation. letting go of any stress..
Then I pop a veggie chip in my mouth… can I just say the veggie chips were DELISH! A whole new world sang to me and I only say that with my dessertsJ I had many of those before my day was over.
Anthony my masseuse arrived. Let me just say I personally prefer hot stone but it was ridiculously higher in NY so I kept with my massage to the Swedish that was included in my package. Anthony got to work as we chatted and he said, “you have made my day”. I was so surprised by that comment. Im like really how? You have such a beautiful personality and you smile so much, all of which is rare for NY City. I said thank you. He said I bet you are a Christian too. I said I am. He said me too and he was telling me about the place he worships since I said I was looking for a new church home and we laughed and talked about our pastoral styles. Unexpected places to be discussing God and worship but that’s what makes it amazing. He said im sorry about being so chatty its just so wonderful to meet you.. I said that’s fine im enjoying the convo but he will have to be quiet at some point so I can relax.lol. So we had a couple more minutes of chatting then he just worked in silent and I would like to say it was a wonderful massage and what I needed but not really it was okay. I told him I tend to like soft pressure which he did but I think im just used to the hot stone so I found this boring plus I could hear the street traffic and horns eventhough I tried to block it out. Anthony however did include more warm compresses than normal since I mention how much I liked warmness on my body.
The massage lasted for 50 minutes and then I was ushered to the fourth floor for my facial with someone with a s.
Everytime I get a facial. I love the softness of my skin afterwards but im wondering why does it have to be so painful. So there were lots of steams, creams, massages before s started with the extractions. She gave my hand this massage and put them in these warm mittens (heaven especially on such a cold day). What I read in the reviews is that everyone said the esthetician gives you a hard sell about products. Not s. she said would you like basic or would you like your facial enhanced. I said enhancement sounds like more money…basic please. That was the end of that and she moved into the extractions…ouch. S said u survived I didn’t kill you. You have really good skin I would recommend a mask once a week. Thanks s. kill…no…. beat me up …yes. We shared a laugh so more creams massages went on and before I knew I fell asleep. It was so relaxing. Her touch was the magic touch and I heard no street noise. Most relaxing facial EVER... S woke me up and told me she was done. After wiped the saliva from my lips from such a peaceful sleep…I said thank you but I have an eye contour next (since im getting older I figured never too early to start thinking about fine lines lightening those under eye circles). Well apparently she did that during the massage. I was like awesome.
So I went back to the relaxation room sat in the chaise with a cover..this wonderful tea, of course some veggie chips and totally vegged out. It was such a good day. So I got dressed and was about to check out when someone said mrs. Walters are you still here. I said yes they said you have a manicure appt downstairs. I totally forgot about that. So I finished dressing went downstairs and had a manicure..nothing in particular to tell about the manicure except it was so very cold on that level and I got color on my nails which I cant remember the last time I had color and felt like whose hand is this. Compared to my other two people the manicurist was dry. I was supposed to get complimentary makeup but honestly looking at the snow coming down I wanted to get home asap. Since mom and dad gave j and me some money for Christmas and my bday which was awesome because can I say I was b-r-o-k-e. so I went out of my way to our bank and do you know they wouldn’t cash it because the check had both of our names and we both had to be present really. Really. So upset. Went to magnolia’s to get my beloved banana pudding. YUM! And started to make the trek home since the snow had started to stick so it was quite messy outside and if Manhattan was like this..brooklyn was worse and it was. It took me 3 hours before could get the chill off me after arriving home. My throat was scratchy and I had a terrible earache. I woke up the next day and was filled with all type of symptoms and lets just say today on Friday… Im finally rid of most symptoms and can say im 60% better. I stayed home from work all this week which isn’t the best because I had end of the year stuff but my health comes first plus it was a mess outside with 17 inches of snow (Monday the office was closed). Can I just say Im so glad to have one of my best friends as a nurse? I was telling kym my symptoms and she was like you have a respiratory infection (which btw was aggravating my asthma) and an ear infection. I thought I might have to go to the ER on Tuesday with all the symptoms: aggravated breathing, chills, and possible fever. Kym, j, my nurse line told me I should contact my doc tell her what’s going on so I did I was taking all the right stuff thanks to kym and when I had an infection before my doc told me what to take. My doc advised me to see a pulmonologist because this is my 3rd sickness in a month so I have an appointment on the 4th. Sickness definitely put a damper on my 1st week of my 31st year because what a way to welcome in y 31st year..in the bed.
J surprised me with early Christmas/birthday tickets to In the Heights which ive wanted to see for years. It was so funny how it went down. j, robin, and I have been trying to see harry potter but my sickness have made us postpone and j promised a friend he would bring her along when we saw it but he didn’t think it would be till January and robin said forget that I cant wait so she told me to meet her someplace before the movies..she had to pick something up. i spazzed and thought she said somewhere else (like i was on 38 when it should have been 48) so im like ill just meet you at the 42nd theatre and in my head im thinking why am i meeting her early when i work close to the theater but i didn’t say anything. so since i spazzed im like ill just meet you at the theatre and she s like n still meet me we got time. This was Friday btw so she called to see where I was and I tried to tell her but had no voice so we finally meet up and we are walking through the theater district and im like why are walking here (in my head)...maybe she knows a shortcut and she pulls us tickets and im like hmm that looks different than the reg tickets and i look closer and i see "in the heights" and i jumped up and down and said if i could scream i would lol. they were awesome seats..like 4th from the front. I love love love the show and when I got home i opened up my door and i saw this wonderful surprise on the dining room table (see attached photo) candlelight and my fav crumbs cupcake with a candle (you know the one that makes my world abetter place that i found last winter..its seasonal) with sushi one of my fav and wine. I again jumped up and down and j was like the tickets were from me and the cupcakes are from robin. awww im so touched. so we had a great fam dinner. then Saturday I woke up and j and I were chilling talking and I told him how much I love love my gifts and he said I hope you're not disappointed that you celebrated your bday early ..i know how you dont like that. are you kidding...with these suprises..who cares.lol. he said i have one more gift ..I was like r u serious so I closed my eyes and it was white chocloate bars from Italy (he found a 3rd party distributor that sells the white chocloate bars I fell in love with on our honeymoon in this small town of Perugia). Scream. so that brought me to tears. so all and all its good.
For my actual birthday i made a spa appointment for Elizabeth arden . it had been sooo long since my last spa appointment (like bridal shower long) that i knew for my 31st year i just want to relax. Originally my appointment was in MD but when our Christmas plans changed for us to stay in NY instead of going to MD I had to make a switcharoo. since I had been to Elizabeth in MD I didn’t think I needed to check reviews. however i checked them afterwards and reviews were awful re: service and decor and lack of upkeep. I was horrified..definately not what I had in mind. Hopefully the reviews are wrong and I later found out they were. Im not sure what some of those other reviewers are used to but it was a wonderful spa (let me not jump ahead so rewind). So I woke up a bit too early for me at 8:30 to arrive at my spa appointment at 10:45 (I have an hr commute to get into the city). I opened up my two birthday cards and presents (one from my parents and the other from Carey) and got my day started. My mom was the first birthday phone call received (only fitting) followed by two happy birthday texts. I had breakfast but cant remember what..it wasn’t memorable. I left the house with my snow boots (which I was not happy that it was supposed to snow on my day eventhough I had no plans after the spa I HATE SNOW so I was not looking forward to being out in it).
I had an “Its my birthday bounce” that no one else in the streets is aware of. Lol.
Got on and off the subway an hour later in Manhattan to be greeted with huge snowflakes. Ugh was my expression. As I hurried past street full of tourists taking pics of the snow and snow in ny …..I finally found Elizabeth arden. It was a big red door.
I was greeted warmly and ushered to the 9th floor (I was a bit taken back that there was so many floors). Again warmly greeted upon exiting the elevators and once I gave my name a man said right this way Mrs. Walters and opened the door to the spa area (I loved that!)
I got changed in my robe and slippers and got some water and a couple of veggie chips which everyone raved about in the reviews that I could not believe people made a point to mention in their reviews and sat down on the l shaped blue couch with different shape toss pillows in blue and white. Breathing in relaxation. letting go of any stress..
Then I pop a veggie chip in my mouth… can I just say the veggie chips were DELISH! A whole new world sang to me and I only say that with my dessertsJ I had many of those before my day was over.
Anthony my masseuse arrived. Let me just say I personally prefer hot stone but it was ridiculously higher in NY so I kept with my massage to the Swedish that was included in my package. Anthony got to work as we chatted and he said, “you have made my day”. I was so surprised by that comment. Im like really how? You have such a beautiful personality and you smile so much, all of which is rare for NY City. I said thank you. He said I bet you are a Christian too. I said I am. He said me too and he was telling me about the place he worships since I said I was looking for a new church home and we laughed and talked about our pastoral styles. Unexpected places to be discussing God and worship but that’s what makes it amazing. He said im sorry about being so chatty its just so wonderful to meet you.. I said that’s fine im enjoying the convo but he will have to be quiet at some point so I can relax.lol. So we had a couple more minutes of chatting then he just worked in silent and I would like to say it was a wonderful massage and what I needed but not really it was okay. I told him I tend to like soft pressure which he did but I think im just used to the hot stone so I found this boring plus I could hear the street traffic and horns eventhough I tried to block it out. Anthony however did include more warm compresses than normal since I mention how much I liked warmness on my body.
The massage lasted for 50 minutes and then I was ushered to the fourth floor for my facial with someone with a s.
Everytime I get a facial. I love the softness of my skin afterwards but im wondering why does it have to be so painful. So there were lots of steams, creams, massages before s started with the extractions. She gave my hand this massage and put them in these warm mittens (heaven especially on such a cold day). What I read in the reviews is that everyone said the esthetician gives you a hard sell about products. Not s. she said would you like basic or would you like your facial enhanced. I said enhancement sounds like more money…basic please. That was the end of that and she moved into the extractions…ouch. S said u survived I didn’t kill you. You have really good skin I would recommend a mask once a week. Thanks s. kill…no…. beat me up …yes. We shared a laugh so more creams massages went on and before I knew I fell asleep. It was so relaxing. Her touch was the magic touch and I heard no street noise. Most relaxing facial EVER... S woke me up and told me she was done. After wiped the saliva from my lips from such a peaceful sleep…I said thank you but I have an eye contour next (since im getting older I figured never too early to start thinking about fine lines lightening those under eye circles). Well apparently she did that during the massage. I was like awesome.
So I went back to the relaxation room sat in the chaise with a cover..this wonderful tea, of course some veggie chips and totally vegged out. It was such a good day. So I got dressed and was about to check out when someone said mrs. Walters are you still here. I said yes they said you have a manicure appt downstairs. I totally forgot about that. So I finished dressing went downstairs and had a manicure..nothing in particular to tell about the manicure except it was so very cold on that level and I got color on my nails which I cant remember the last time I had color and felt like whose hand is this. Compared to my other two people the manicurist was dry. I was supposed to get complimentary makeup but honestly looking at the snow coming down I wanted to get home asap. Since mom and dad gave j and me some money for Christmas and my bday which was awesome because can I say I was b-r-o-k-e. so I went out of my way to our bank and do you know they wouldn’t cash it because the check had both of our names and we both had to be present really. Really. So upset. Went to magnolia’s to get my beloved banana pudding. YUM! And started to make the trek home since the snow had started to stick so it was quite messy outside and if Manhattan was like this..brooklyn was worse and it was. It took me 3 hours before could get the chill off me after arriving home. My throat was scratchy and I had a terrible earache. I woke up the next day and was filled with all type of symptoms and lets just say today on Friday… Im finally rid of most symptoms and can say im 60% better. I stayed home from work all this week which isn’t the best because I had end of the year stuff but my health comes first plus it was a mess outside with 17 inches of snow (Monday the office was closed). Can I just say Im so glad to have one of my best friends as a nurse? I was telling kym my symptoms and she was like you have a respiratory infection (which btw was aggravating my asthma) and an ear infection. I thought I might have to go to the ER on Tuesday with all the symptoms: aggravated breathing, chills, and possible fever. Kym, j, my nurse line told me I should contact my doc tell her what’s going on so I did I was taking all the right stuff thanks to kym and when I had an infection before my doc told me what to take. My doc advised me to see a pulmonologist because this is my 3rd sickness in a month so I have an appointment on the 4th. Sickness definitely put a damper on my 1st week of my 31st year because what a way to welcome in y 31st year..in the bed.
Joyce Meyer Book
I highly recommend Joyce Meyer's book "Confident Woman." It's definitely on my list of influential books. I didn't know I needed to read this until I did. Below are some things in the book that I liked..i could literally type out so many pages:
Pg 5
Pg 5
- confidence allows us to face life with boldness, openness, and honesty. It enables us to live without worry and feel safe. It enables us to live authentically.
- people with low confidence, on the other hand, are not sure about anything. They are double-minded, indecisive people who are tormented by self doubt. They second -guess (and third and fourth guess) themselves. As a result they don't live boldly. They live little, narrow lives, and they miss out on the big rewarding lives God wants them to enjoy.
Pg 10
- John Wayne said , "Courage is not the absence of fear it is action in the presence of fear. bold people do what they know they should do-not what they feel like doing."
- ....As I write these words, I feel very excited for you. I truly believe this book will be life-changing for many of you who read it. It may be a good reminder for some of you, but for others it will help you step out onto the path of your true life. The life that has been waiting for you since the beginning of time-and the one you may be missing due to fear and intimidation. Satan is the master of intimidation, you can take authority over him by simply placing confidence in Jesus Christ and stepping out boldly to be all you can be, God told Joshua, "Fear not, for I am with you." He is sending the same message today: FEAR NOT! God is with you and he will never leave you , nor forsake you.
- Abraham was told, "God is with you in all that you do" (Genesis 21:22). that sounds like a large living to me. Are you ready for a larger life, one that leaves you feeling satisfied and fulfilled? i believe you are, and i want to do everything I can to help you on your journey.
Pg 45
- A person is not a failure because she tried some things that did not work out. She fails only when she stops trying.
- Recovering from pain or disappointment of any kind is not something that just happens to some people and not to others. It is a decision!You make a decision to let go and go on. You learn from your mistakes. You gather up the fragments and give them to Jesus and he will make sure nothing is wasted (John 6:12). You refuse to think about what you have lost, but instead you inventory what you have left and begin using it, Not only can you recover, but you can also be used to help other people recover. Be a living example of a confident woman who always recovers from setbacks mo matter how difficult or frequent they are. Don't ever say, "I just cannot go on,". Instead say, "I can do whatever I need to do through Christ who strengthens me. I will never quit, because God is on my side."
I absolutely love that! I think that's an important reminder to us all.
Pg 4Joyce talks about two kinds of people..a bold and shy person ..I'm typing out the shy person because I could identify more with that person than the bold person
- A shy person shrinks back from many things that she should confront. There are many things she would like to say or do, but she's paralyzed by fear. I believe we must learn to step out into things and find out what God has for us in life. A more timid approach may protect individual from making mistakes, but the result is that they spend their lives wondering "what could have been." Bold people, on the other hand, make more mistakes , but they recover and eventually find what is right and fulfilling for them.. Making mistakes is not the end of the world. We can learn from mistakes. In fact, one of the few mistakes we cannot recover from is the mistake of never being willing to make one in the first place! God works through our faith, not our fear. Don't sit on the sidelines of life wasting you were doing the things you see other people doing. Take action and get a life!
- If a person is naturally introverted or extroverted , she will always have a greater tendencies toward that natural trait-and that is not wrong. As we have stated previously, God creates all of us differently. However, we can have the life we desire and still not deny who we are. So search your heart and ask yourself what you believe God wants you to do --and then do it. Where He guides, He always provides. If God is asking you to step out into something that is uncomfortable for you, I can assure you when you take the step of faith, you will find him walking beside you.
When I resumed reading my book after i got the job offer this is what i read in bold.
Pg 85
- God wants to give you favor-kindness that you don't deserve. Supernatural favor can be expressed in different ways . You may get the job you want but are not naturally qualified for.
Pg 89
- Preparation equips us to move confidently.
- When God gives us a job to do we often think it will be easy to accomplish. However, most things are harder than you ever imagine, they take longer than you ever thought you could endure but they also pay greater dividends than you could imagine.
- When God called me into ministry I thought it would happen right away. I did not realize that I had a great deal to learn before I was prepared for the ministry God wanted for me.
Pg 94
- The kind of preparation you need depends on what you are being called to do and your season in life at that time. If you have something in your heart that you believe you are supposed to do but are unable to do it now, don't let that discourage you. We hold some things in our hearts for years before we see them manifest. Let your dream incubate in your heart. Pray about it and do whatever you can to be ready when the time is right.
Pg 97
- I encourage you to let everything in life be preparation for the things in your future. Let every experience be something you learn from. Don't despise the days of small beginnings. Those small beginnings are usually all we can handle at the time. God will give more when He knows we are ready. Enjoy every step of your journey. Don;t be in such a hurry to rush through things that you miss the lessons you can draw from each day.
- If you do what you can do then God will do and what you cannot do. Do your best to be prepared for the job in front of you and God will come with some supernatural abilities that will amaze you.
Another item that God spoke loudly hence why i bolded it.
- To be prepared, you don't have to worry about the part you don't know how to do, just do the part you know. Your faith-filled actions are seeds you sow. Sow your seed in faith and God will bring a harvest at just the right time.
Pg 103 The heading for this chapter was "Prepare for Promotion"....oh Lord
- Joyce told story of how some of her former employees missed a great opportunity because they wanted promotion but they were not willing to prepare, they were not willing to take additional training or learn new skills to help them improve. These employees were very valuable but they did not continue getting training, even though it was offered so they could go into future with them
Knock ..knock....
Pg 179
- Instead if being afraid of something you are not familiar with, familiarize yourself with it. Do some research or ask some questions. It might take a little effort o do so, but it is better than being tormented by fear.
Pg 189
- Always living in a safe zone of life and never taking chances actually makes one a thief and a robber. you might think that statement is a bit strong but the truth is always strong, and the truth also makes me free. If I spend my life keeping myself safe then i rob everyone else of my gifts and talents simply because I am too afraid to step out and be willing to find out what I can do in life.
That's a really good point!
I think I've given enough of this book away!
Quotes I liked
These are quotes from Little Dumb Man about life lessons that I liked:
"I made and learned from lots of mistakes."
How else can we learn? Think back to when you learned any new skill – driving a car, cooking, learning a language. Of course you messed it up! Taking risks, trying new things, learning – these things always involve making mistakes. So don’t fear mistakes – be proud of them!
"If you can indulge in your passion, life will be far more interesting than if you're just working."
Someone said that if you enjoy your job, you’ll never have to work another day. Not everyone can go out and ‘indulge their passion’ right away, but there is good to found in all jobs, and if we focus on the good things, looking for that which is pleasing and which, perhaps, we can influence, it will expand. This kind of proactively is the basis of Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, another book I highly recommend.
"Right now I'm just delighted to be alive and to have had a nice long bath.
This quote reminds me of a scene from the wonderful British comedy movie, Clockwise. John Cleese’s character is trying to get to a conference but, after many trials and tribulations, he ends up stranded in a monastery. Sitting in a room with a monk, covered in mud, clothes torn, he asks, ‘what should I do?’ The monk simply replies: ‘Have a bath, perhaps?’
We can be so focused on the big picture stuff that we forget that life is a series of moments, each of which has its simple pleasures. Whatever life brings, it is good to be thankful for the many little pleasures each day has to bring.
‘When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love’ (Marcus Aurelius)
"I made and learned from lots of mistakes."
How else can we learn? Think back to when you learned any new skill – driving a car, cooking, learning a language. Of course you messed it up! Taking risks, trying new things, learning – these things always involve making mistakes. So don’t fear mistakes – be proud of them!
"If you can indulge in your passion, life will be far more interesting than if you're just working."
Someone said that if you enjoy your job, you’ll never have to work another day. Not everyone can go out and ‘indulge their passion’ right away, but there is good to found in all jobs, and if we focus on the good things, looking for that which is pleasing and which, perhaps, we can influence, it will expand. This kind of proactively is the basis of Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, another book I highly recommend.
"Right now I'm just delighted to be alive and to have had a nice long bath.
This quote reminds me of a scene from the wonderful British comedy movie, Clockwise. John Cleese’s character is trying to get to a conference but, after many trials and tribulations, he ends up stranded in a monastery. Sitting in a room with a monk, covered in mud, clothes torn, he asks, ‘what should I do?’ The monk simply replies: ‘Have a bath, perhaps?’
We can be so focused on the big picture stuff that we forget that life is a series of moments, each of which has its simple pleasures. Whatever life brings, it is good to be thankful for the many little pleasures each day has to bring.
‘When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love’ (Marcus Aurelius)
Job Opportunity
I was offered a job opportunity by our new VP of our dept totally out of the blue a few weeks ago and i was so unsure about it. The job required 2 weeks in DC 2 weeks in NY which is a definite interruption in my life and one con about the job. I was very much in prayer and seeking God and i heard opportunity and favor in my spirit but i also heard that every opportunity isn't the right opportunity. So i turned down the opportunity and told my current boss and his reaction was quite surprising it was kind of a sigh and if that's what you want. I'm like don't sound too disappointed.I told my hubby about it and hes like I'm proud of you for considering it. we talked more about via text since i was out of town and he said he thinks it was a mistake i turned it down because of the opportunity that is presented and any fears i have are unfounded and if I'm wondering about how i could be supported in this role then i need to bring that up. I had dinner with one of my best friends cory and was telling him my side and then my reactions to what hubby said. Cory interrupted me to say steph in my spirit i just heard you're too comfortable in your position. Which struck me all over..i never knew that but that it is so true! so i really was pondering now so I talked to hubby more prayed and went back the next day asking if i could reconsider with a list of questions. I felt much better about the situation and really was open to the opportunity. The new role would definitely be challenging because its more of an hr generalist position and my focus has been benefits and the idea of being responsible for several departments and be their specific HR person. I have to tell my decision the week after thanksgiving. oh the one thing I'm waiting to hear on is salary. I'm reading Joyce's book confident woman...and its funny when i picked up the book to continue reading it so spoke to my job situation. The book talked about about stepping out of your comfortable position, its less about what i can do but what God can do though you . Then i read a line that said lets call this person Stephanie who is applying for the job. Really God? lol! my name in a book ..i think you may be talking to me. Right then i knew God is speaking quite heavily through this book. Then i was listening to Joel and Victoria sermon and Victoria said ....It's time to grow up...develop...rise higher and advance the kingdom.It's time to embrace new things God wants to do in your life. Time to exchange. Alot of time we are holding to things..we need to make the exchange. It's time to put down some things so you can have the great exchange God is trying to give. Cast your care upon God. evaluate. maybe you need to put something down to get something better. That hit home so much! Then i looked at my book shelf and saw the book that's called HR Transformation that i started reading months ago and put down and totally forgot I had it. It's one of the free books my company gets that I didn't see on the "free shelf" but one of my co-workers found and thought I may like and I'm glad that she did. I then knew i needed to take the job. God has been laying the foundation and giving me hint for months even years but I wasn't aware of it. Our last VP was moving our whole dept from transactional to strategic partners but we never did anything with it so i thought nothing about it but this is partly what my new job will be. Not paying attention to signs. I haven't told my decision yet to our new vp because I'm waiting on the salary but it will be a yes.I really want to thank my other best friend Carey for standing with me praying for clarity. Eventhough I didnt get my answer the next day ..I did get it a few days later.
Article about Knowing When To Quit
This is another great article from the Dumb Little Man that I found helpful. I'm one to either get up to bat or not. If something fails I want to not give up and keep going (well..sometimes if Im determined) but this article really reminds me sometimes we have to know when to quit...when to stay...somethings no longer fit and we have to accept it..no need to keep making it fit.
The article:
How would you feel if someone called you a "quitter"?
My guess is – not good. You might feel hurt, guilty or upset. You almost certainly wouldn't feel proud of yourself.
Quitting gets a bad rap. We're often encouraged, from an early age, to stick with our projects at all costs – even when we're totally fed up. You might have come across quotes like Napoleon Hill's "A quitter never wins and a winner never quits."
Frankly, that's nonsense. Lots of successful people achieve their real goals by knowing when to quit. You could waste years of your life beating your head against a brick wall – when the real way forwards was to quit, and start something new.
I like the way W.C. Fields puts it:
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
So how do you know when to try again – and when to quit? Here are four warning signs that make quitting a perfectly valid option.
You Just Wish It Was Over
Maybe you're engaged in a long project – like studying for a degree, or working in a particular career. If all you can think about is the day when you'll finally graduate from college, or finally retire, then it's worth thinking about whether this is the right course for you.
Almost every project we undertake will have some less-than-fun moments. But if you're working towards your real goals, the process will generally feel worthwhile and interesting.
There's No End in Sight
Do you feel as though you're going round in circles? Perhaps you're slogging away in a particular job, but it's become clear that you're not going to get that promotion you hoped for. Maybe you've been working on a novel for the past five years, but you're not really getting anywhere nearer to "finished".
Of course, not everything we do has an end point – and that's fine, so long as you enjoy what you're doing. But if you're thoroughly fed up, think about whether there's an end point which you can reach or not. It's probably worth sticking out your final year in high school so that you can graduate – but it's not worth staying in a job you hate if there's no route forwards.
You're Not Gaining Anything New
If you've been engaged in one particular project for a while, are you still getting anything out of it – or has it just become a habit? I've given up a magazine subscription that I used to enjoy, because I was finding that the articles were very beginner-focused – and I'd moved on from that stage.
You might consider quitting:
- Particular groups or classes where there's nothing new to learn
- Hobbies which you used to enjoy but have lost interest in
- A job which was once exciting but now feels stale
What was right for you five years ago – or even one year ago – might not be a good fit now. Various life events may have seen your priorities change: perhaps you've started a family – or your kids have left home.
If you took on a particular project, goal or hobby in the past, it's worth considering whether it's still something that you want as part of your life. You might, for instance, quit an expensive hobby so that you have more money to spend on your growing family – or you might leave a hectic job in order to have more time with your aging parents.
There is absolutely no shame in quitting. In fact, it can take a lot of maturity and bravery to stand up and say "I quit".
If there's something in your life that's holding you back, what's your first step towards quitting it?
Great Article about How To Pursue Your Dreams-Despite the Day Job
I read this wonderful article that made me immediately think about one of my best friends. I was going to send this to her but thought I want a way to remember this article as well because you never know how my hobby with art or anything else I pursue may one day interfere with my day job. As much as I would like to think I keep things in perspective ..sometimes one gets caught up in life and feels like their dream is so far away but in reality it isn't....
So my best friend I'm talking too..remember to stay encouraged and to take these small steps...
The article:
You've got big dreams. Perhaps they're recent, or perhaps they've been simmering away at the back of your mind for years. Maybe you haven't started yet, or maybe you've already made a lot of progress.
The problem is, you've got a day job. You'd love to pursue your dreams full time – and you've read all the books and blogs aboutgoing after your passion – but you simply can't afford to. Maybe you wouldn't even want to.
The good news is, you don't have to quit your job to go after your dreams. You can work round it instead.
Setting Clear Goals
First, be clear about what you're trying to achieve. That doesn't need to mean setting yourself some detailed five year plan. It could just be:
- Aiming to spend some time each evening on your hobbies
- Gradually getting some experience in your dream career, perhaps by volunteering
- Visiting a different country every vacation
- Getting to the next stage with your music or art
By setting clear, achievable goals, you keep yourself focused.
Finding Your Best Time
I've been coaching some writers, and one common problem which comes up for those with a day job is finding a good time to write.
A lot of dreams require energy and commitment. They're not like cleaning out the garage – you have to have a certain amount of inspiration and mental clarity in order to get going.
To figure out your best time of day, experiment! Try working on your rock anthem first thing in the morning, or straight after you get home from work, or on a Sunday afternoon. What feels easiest and most natural for you?
Once you've found your best time of day, look for ways to fit your dream into it. That might mean getting a bit creative – perhaps swapping childcare with a friend, or negotiating slightly different work hours with your boss.
Getting Supporters to Cheer You On
In your day job, you've got a number of people with an interest in how you're getting on. Your boss, for instance, is definitely going to notice if you don't do any work for days on end. And your colleagues will be there to support you, to offer a sympathetic ear when things go wrong, or to answer questions.
When you're going after your own goals in your own time, it can feel like you're out on your own. Perhaps your partner doesn't really "get" your dream, or maybe your friends would laugh if you told them all about it.
Having support, though, makes a huge difference: it can keep you enthusiastic even when things aren't going well, and it can give you the motivation to carry on.
How about joining a group – in your local area, or online – that's devoted to your dream? Or finding just one person, perhaps a friend, who'll help you stay accountable?
Making the Most of Your Day Job
When your day job gets in the way of your dreams, it's easy to start feeling resentful. But you've made a commitment to your job (whether or not you enjoy it), and it's important to honor that commitment.
Sure, you might have a bit more time for your dreams if you came into work late every day, or pretended to be working while you were really reading about the new guitar you want to buy. But your work will probably suffer, your boss will probably notice, and you'll feel guilty about it.
Even if your day job is far from ideal, there's probably something you can gain from it. Maybe that's a good reference, experience, strong relationships with colleagues or greater self-discipline.
Whatever your dreams are – make time for them, and treat them seriously.
Hello November!
Wow I can't beleive we are in the fifth day of November...where oh where did this year go? My birthday is next month...which seems crazy. It has definately been a mixture of an amazing and rough year with all the awakenings combined with the death of my mother-in-law. As I come into the holidays seasons, I just pray for more peace and healing for my family. It's amazing when you look back over the course ofthe year..things accomplished/not accomplished/ who you are now vs when the year began, the lessons God has taught..the ones missed, the ones you knew from day 1, How God has strengthened you and never left you despite how the year has come and gone is amazing. Friendships strengthened and some no longer fit. The crisp air of changing leaves of fall which really tells you its arrived.
Ahhh..I just wanted to take a moment to talk about that. i have done a few drawings since my last post but something is wrong with my camera phone..something about the sd card not being recognized...booo so i cant post until its working again. i can truly see how God has used my art as a catylst to awaken myself on so many levels....
Ahhh..I just wanted to take a moment to talk about that. i have done a few drawings since my last post but something is wrong with my camera phone..something about the sd card not being recognized...booo so i cant post until its working again. i can truly see how God has used my art as a catylst to awaken myself on so many levels....
Morning Time with God
I got up an hour early groggy, pressed snooze once, and wanting to go back to sleep but remember another conversation that come up with DM re God that i remembered..morning time. ...first few moments. so i got up and read my devotional "hearing from God each morning", confident woman and so long insecurity you've been a bad friend to me (correction of the time for one of my last posts) by bath moore along with my bible and another devotional. i used the awaken oil DM gave me and prayed over myself and my gifts and the things that lie dormant to come alive. I picked my 3 grace cards: Shine (step into the light. you are a gift to the world). Direction (look for clues. Grace will lead us to the exact events and experiences we need at precisely the right time) and Honor (care for your soul. Honor the divinity within you by practicing extreme self care). Very timely grace cards. I felt encouraged and remembered why its a shame i always let my morning ritual go away.i embraced the day in a much more powerful way
Amazing Book
I forgot to mention on my post about the library about the great find I saw as i was leaving the art section. I ran across a book called "Letters to a Young Artist" Building A Life In Art by Julia Cameron. Can i say this is among my books of influential books? It is amazing!!! I almost finished this easy read of 160 pages. There's a few letters that don't hit me in a particular way but then there's those pages that does and i scream YES!!! Below are excerpts of the goodness ive found. its so inspiring to me as im meeting myself as the artist. This was the book i needed to strengthen and encourage that inner child of mine. i kinda wish i read this when i was younger but im a big believer in things happening at the right time.
- Pg 9-Making art takes guts. Choosing to be vulnerable and exposed rather than safely blocked is a risky venture.
- Pg 15-Making art is as natural as breathing. Just like breathing, you do need to do it, and with coaching you can perhaps learn to do it better.
- Pg 35-Your job is not to be interesting but to be interested. If you are interested enough by what is trying to come through you., you will forget your conventional self and respond in authentic and often surprising ways to the creative force moving through you.
- Creativity is not something you possess but something that expresses through you.
- Pg 58-If art is a spiritual activity and we area ll equally sourced in God, then that tells you both what you need to know and who you need to know:God in the form of creativity itself. Try trusting your unfolding to God and you will be just a little less shattered when someone doesnt like your work. Believe that your gift comes from God and that using it is your gift back to God.
- -pg 83-When we believe "the odds" are stacked against us, we are choosing to believe that "the odds" are more powerful not only than our own gifts but also than God. If the tiny mustard seed can become a tree, if the acorn can become the oak, why cant our ideas flourish into mighty manifestations. It comes down to the question of self-worth, doesn't it?
- pg-97 There is a direct relationship between self-nurturing and our capacity for a sustained creative flow. we dont want to work spasmodically and sporadically/ We want to work consistently and creatively. This means we must treat ourselves as finely tuned mechanisms. We must learn what makes us thrive and give ourselves a diet of those nutrients.
- pg 109 To an eye, an artist never has enough time. and so it is up to us to make time. We need to safegaurd our time against other people and their however well meaning agendas for us. Morning pages..
- Pg 112-what are you doing these days to explore beyond your comfort zone?
- i keep a sign posted in my work area that reads "i am willing to make bad art" (how amazing is that statement ..im going to do this as well...like julia says its shuts down that inner critic)
- Pg 131-Every time you make a piece of art, you locate yourself, your precise position, o n the longitude and latitude of your experience. You learn who you are and what you believe.
Trip to the library
On Monday I decided to go to the library and get some collage art books since DM said thats what we'll be doing on my next session along with some christian books (morning devotional by joyce meyer, confident woman by joyce meyer and beth moore insecurity no more). After my session with DM i started thinking about what she said--what stands between you and the person God has created in that picture with the butterfly and i mumbled something but i realized on monday its insecurity, lack of confidence that i am enough so thats why i got my books on those subject. on my way to the gym a vision came to my head how i want to portray motherhood for the sketchbook project. I just got to figure out the small details....sooo happy i was almost skipping. I just felt sooo good..i watched a powerful service with joel. it wasnt so much his message but the praise and worship that one song left me in tears as well as the words joel and victoria spoke during the service. i felt strengthened. i felt renewed.
Blog Entry I read on ways to grow
Like plants on the first day of spring, you can blossom to achieve your dreams.
What happens to a beautiful plant that outgrows its container? If you don't repot it, eventually it withers and dies. Repotting is our term for transplanting yourself into a larger growth environment. Just as gardeners look for ways to promote growth in spring, you can rejuvenate your life by following this step-by-step process. Here's the first idea to help you grow
Rethink Your Landscape
Adopting a new perspective is the first step to successful repotting. Just as some plants need a different environment to thrive, you need to start thinking in new ways. Ask yourself: What is really important to me? What trade-offs do I need to make to bring more light and meaning into my personal garden? What will bring color to my landscape? For example, if you are constantly traveling for work, but missing important family events, you could shift your priorities and adjust your schedule.
Planting is a process
Slow down and create time in your schedule to research new avenues for personal growth. Don't be afraid of empty spaces. A friend of ours who cut back on her schedule immediately filled the open time slots with new activities. Remember to let "fallow beds" lie--don't fill up your free time until you know what you really want to do.
Let In More Light
Your true gifts may be languishing for lack of sun. In order to grow and change, you'll need to open your mind to new possibilities, set goals that challenge you, and even take some risks. Instead of following a safe path, you might decide to explore something different. We worked with a lawyer who was unhappy with the rigid corporate structure. She ultimately became a pastry chef, giving up financial security in favor of a less constraining lifestyle.
Tend to Your Garden Regularly
Whatever you choose to undertake, whether it's building a new career, volunteering, or pursuing a new hobby, do something every single day to make progress. Don't let distractions take your energy away from the tasks necessary to achieve your goal. If you want to do personal writing but find yourself distracted by TV--try unplugging the set on weekends and using the spare time to keep a journal.
Cultivate Your Dreams
To repot successfully, you need to let your mind run free to entertain new concepts, ideas, and avenues. Unleash your creative side by visualizing a new future for yourself. One of our clients, a mother who spent 20 years raising children, allowed herself to visualize a new identity. She tapped into her inner voice and let her imagination to take her beyond her current role to that of therapist for troubled youth.
Water Your Roots
Find the core values that motivate you. Make sure the life you are living is in sync with your deepest values and priorities. If not, see what you can do to realign it. Let's say you feel the lack of spirituality in your life, but aren't sure how to find it. For two individuals we know, the answer to spiritual fulfillment lay in serving non-profit organizations. Two others took a religious path: one started a Bible study group, and the other entered seminary and was later ordained.
Don't Forget Fertlizer
When you expand your knowledge, you expand your options. For personal growth, ongoing learning is crucial--whether you're pursuing a hobby or gaining new credentials for a career. The stimulation of learning fosters new growth and change at any age. A middle-aged stock market analyst decided to go back to school for an MBA so that she could start a business with her grown daughter.
Plant a Sample Bed
Until you try a plant in your own personal garden, you won't know for sure if the conditions are right for growth. If they're not, you can always rip it out and start again. Embrace trial and error. A woman we know took training to see if she would like to become a massage therapist. While she enjoyed the nurturing aspect, she realized she didn't have the stamina to do it fulltime. She continues at her desk job and has a small massage practice on weekends.
Get Input from Other Gardeners
Tap into your network--family, friends, and colleagues--who may be able to give you feedback, advice, and emotional support. As you benefit from the advice of others, you may also find that you're helping someone else along the way. A woman who wanted to change careers talked openly with her family, professional friends, and people who had known her throughout her life. She found her life enriched by connecting with old friends and developing deeper relationships with new ones.
Weed Your Garden
Take a disciplined approach to finding more time in your day for activities that offer opportunities for growth. Make a list of the "must-do activities," then eliminate non-essentials. A woman we counseled who had her own event-planning firm found her client lunches and after-hours professional activities were getting out of hand. She cut back on the number of commitments to make time for painting classes and choral singing--two long-lost passions.
What happens to a beautiful plant that outgrows its container? If you don't repot it, eventually it withers and dies. Repotting is our term for transplanting yourself into a larger growth environment. Just as gardeners look for ways to promote growth in spring, you can rejuvenate your life by following this step-by-step process. Here's the first idea to help you grow
Rethink Your Landscape
Adopting a new perspective is the first step to successful repotting. Just as some plants need a different environment to thrive, you need to start thinking in new ways. Ask yourself: What is really important to me? What trade-offs do I need to make to bring more light and meaning into my personal garden? What will bring color to my landscape? For example, if you are constantly traveling for work, but missing important family events, you could shift your priorities and adjust your schedule.
Planting is a process
Slow down and create time in your schedule to research new avenues for personal growth. Don't be afraid of empty spaces. A friend of ours who cut back on her schedule immediately filled the open time slots with new activities. Remember to let "fallow beds" lie--don't fill up your free time until you know what you really want to do.
Let In More Light
Your true gifts may be languishing for lack of sun. In order to grow and change, you'll need to open your mind to new possibilities, set goals that challenge you, and even take some risks. Instead of following a safe path, you might decide to explore something different. We worked with a lawyer who was unhappy with the rigid corporate structure. She ultimately became a pastry chef, giving up financial security in favor of a less constraining lifestyle.
Tend to Your Garden Regularly
Whatever you choose to undertake, whether it's building a new career, volunteering, or pursuing a new hobby, do something every single day to make progress. Don't let distractions take your energy away from the tasks necessary to achieve your goal. If you want to do personal writing but find yourself distracted by TV--try unplugging the set on weekends and using the spare time to keep a journal.
Cultivate Your Dreams
To repot successfully, you need to let your mind run free to entertain new concepts, ideas, and avenues. Unleash your creative side by visualizing a new future for yourself. One of our clients, a mother who spent 20 years raising children, allowed herself to visualize a new identity. She tapped into her inner voice and let her imagination to take her beyond her current role to that of therapist for troubled youth.
Water Your Roots
Find the core values that motivate you. Make sure the life you are living is in sync with your deepest values and priorities. If not, see what you can do to realign it. Let's say you feel the lack of spirituality in your life, but aren't sure how to find it. For two individuals we know, the answer to spiritual fulfillment lay in serving non-profit organizations. Two others took a religious path: one started a Bible study group, and the other entered seminary and was later ordained.
Don't Forget Fertlizer
When you expand your knowledge, you expand your options. For personal growth, ongoing learning is crucial--whether you're pursuing a hobby or gaining new credentials for a career. The stimulation of learning fosters new growth and change at any age. A middle-aged stock market analyst decided to go back to school for an MBA so that she could start a business with her grown daughter.
Plant a Sample Bed
Until you try a plant in your own personal garden, you won't know for sure if the conditions are right for growth. If they're not, you can always rip it out and start again. Embrace trial and error. A woman we know took training to see if she would like to become a massage therapist. While she enjoyed the nurturing aspect, she realized she didn't have the stamina to do it fulltime. She continues at her desk job and has a small massage practice on weekends.
Get Input from Other Gardeners
Tap into your network--family, friends, and colleagues--who may be able to give you feedback, advice, and emotional support. As you benefit from the advice of others, you may also find that you're helping someone else along the way. A woman who wanted to change careers talked openly with her family, professional friends, and people who had known her throughout her life. She found her life enriched by connecting with old friends and developing deeper relationships with new ones.
Weed Your Garden
Take a disciplined approach to finding more time in your day for activities that offer opportunities for growth. Make a list of the "must-do activities," then eliminate non-essentials. A woman we counseled who had her own event-planning firm found her client lunches and after-hours professional activities were getting out of hand. She cut back on the number of commitments to make time for painting classes and choral singing--two long-lost passions.
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