Artist's Date

(scream)....my fav new phone has erased my pictures of the brooklyn bridge. Nice views and im glad I finally went but it wasnt the place for drawing. Not sure why my sketching group suggested it but it was good going to a new plazy but i was too distracted by the people coming by. i also realized how different my drawings are when i purposefully set up to do them instead of being in the moment(i THINK too much instead of feeling). They're not as good I have to say but here they are.

Amazing Vision Artwise that took a different turn

The focal point of this piece was much different than I imagined it (I imagined hubby looking up at the eagle or it being on his chest but what it became..is much better) It reminds me that God will always sends help when we need it.

It appears hubby shared my vision with some of his friend and I loved the way he described (i drew it but something about the written word makes it so powerful). Here it is:

I'm pretty sure I haven't told you, but Steph has been in the midst of this incredible new artistic awakening. It's the first time she's embraced her art in over a decade. Well it's really very organic, and deeply spiritual this time around, tapping into some pretty rich, vital areas of her spirit. She gets these visions for her work now, and they are often accompanied with scripture, usually scripture verse she's never even heard or read. So she tells me yesterday that she has this vision for a new piece and can't wait to get home to do it. She works on it for awhile, and then shows it to me. The charcoal piece isn't very detailed, which is interesting because typically details have been very important in her work.The piece is of a faceless me, standing in what appears to be a clearing in the forest. I look a bit lost, and am turning to this scroll in my hand for guidance. On the scroll is written Isaiah 58: 8;11. Behind me is this large eagle, which is the only figure in the picture that actually has detail. The eagle's wings are spread full and wide, and it's so close to me that we nearly touch. I am looking a the scroll, but the eagel is looking directly at me. It appears to be whispering something in my ear. On the left wing of the eagel is written Isaiah 41:10. This is what the scripture said: - On the wings of the eagel whispering in my ear, Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - On the scroll I am turning to for guidance, Isaiah 58:8;11 8. Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 11. The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. It's pretty powerful. I feel the Lord with me so strongly. This was right on time and so inline with how I've been feeling spiritually.

Artist's Block

For days now an image has been in my head with a side profile of myself and the things that give me freedom and a part of me sprawled out on a page in a way where it's like they are pouring out of me. So after falling asleep to "Rear Window" (which I'm enjoying I was just exhausted)..I said now is the time to put this on paper and in comes that zone feeling so immediately grab my lamp from the living room, my pastels, my ipod, several side profile pictures, and my sketchbook and went to our bedroom (which appears to be my art space) and start drawing but then i stopped cause im stuck..clearly theres more to be done but i cant see what ..so i called myself taking a break....but it ended up being for the night.The one intresting thing is its by no mistake a butterfly was one of the items since I've compared my evolution to a butterfly. Looks like this may be a work in progress....

Sacred Friday Excerpt: Simplicity

You know when i was in my twenty's. I thought simplicity was about giving up things and truly live a simple life which could very much could be true for most people and possibly I'm combining two different terms simple life an simplicity back then. Where i am today I think simplicity is about slowing down (giving up those to-do lists for a moment) relax and decide what matters most to me. in one of cheryl Richardson exercises this year she listed ten messages and you were supposed to pick the one that spoke to you and clear as day mine was:-

"Don't let over-analyzing, future planning, or what-ifs, get in the way of taking action." I put that in my office along with:
-the Ephesians 3:20 message from Joel
-how God said to me I have heard a report from the Lord (not believing what we see in the natural but what God is saying)
-Behold I am doing a new thing scripture (from the beginning if the year)
-Sudden breakthroughs(God wants to release his power in sucg a way that it overwhelms you and drives out your enemies)-another message from Joel
-Sovereign surprises (heard this in a message from a guest speaker about what 2010 will bring..you may remember).

All of theses things resonate to me that God is ready to do some new things. To burst favor and new gates open all over my life. But it doesnt come from a to do list but comes from the simple thing of being connected to him, fellowship with him, put away my thoughts and put on his thoughts. It's about creating what matters most in my life..to be entirely whole. what a concept! To be authentic.

I read somewhere, "Facing who we are, no matter how inadequate we have come to believe ourselves to be, is the beginning of living an authentic, real, honest and beautiful life."

I think simplicity can totally be summed up in a quote i found,
"simplicity is living in a physically and emotionally clutter-free environment that allows your mind and heart to be creative, uplifting and inspiring – not being weighed down with so much unnecessary stuff and baggage – so that you can enjoy the passions and pleasures of your life.

Feelings about pursuing a project....

I read one of my expressive arts newsletter weeks back that mentioned she was participating in the "sketchbook project"..it seemed so interesting that I immediately log on to see what it's about. Basically you purchase a sketchbook, select one of their pre-selected themes, they mail it to you and you have to return it back by Jan.15th. From there your sketchbook tours different cities and you get notified when someone looks through it. How awesome is that! Initially when I read it on the newsletter the person neglected to mention the $25 cost and the pre-selected theme ..just that your sketchbook was touring around the city. so at first i was taken aback by the cost but then said thats a small fee really and how awesome the idea of my sketchbook touring. Then yesterday feelings crept up that I didnt like the idea that its a pre-selected theme..maybe this project isn't for me (now I know that was fear). I talked to hubby and he said the following impactful words: "this project is exactly for you...this project requires boundary. Because you need to learn to work within limits.You have a tendency to run away from the things that you truly need. You were so afraid of working within structure that you gave up art for over a decade. Then he went on to talk about the direction i want my art to go:You have to ask yourself the question: Do you want to keep art a hobby, something to yourself for yourself or do you truly want to undergo training, which aims to hone you, shape you, mold you, and grow you by putting pressure on your talent and producing skill.That will ALWAYS involve the use of boundaries.Limitations.Because the point is to shape.That's what a sculptor does."

Strong point heh! He's so good on pointing out what people need to do...I wish we could bottle him up and sell him. To answer the question I want to be honed and that's what DM teaching is doing. I can already see that.So I'm going to do it..I just have to pick a theme..I'm between:
Adhere to me
The greatest story ever told
Down your street

So we'll see which one it ends up being....

Artistic Therapeutic Expression Session #2

This is an excerpt from what I wrote my best friend (no need to write a whole new blog entry).
On August 15th i woke up and felt meh...I couldnt place why but knew thats how i felt..an hour later i could describe this meh as sadness (usually i feel this when someone close to me is feelings and and i find out later I just tapped into their emotions but this time it felt different and i couldnt find out why). I know this sounds crazy but i was laying on our mattress and the pattern resembled a bee laughing at me. a bee laughing ..strange. so hubby came in and was like whats wrong. he said lay with me let's find the root of why i was feeling the way I do. i told him about the sadness and the bee and that i could see myself in the air in the balloon looking down at my life and it feeling like it wasnt mine and he asked me to continue but i couldnt i had no more to add so i got up because it was time to leave for my session. It was an awful awful downpour..by the time i got to the station i was soaked from shoulders to toe..i thought great, this is a great time for a session. so it died down to a drizzle by the time i got to the city but my umbrella had flipped up which better now than earlier) so I saw DM and she greeting me with such a warm loving hug and asked how i was. i said my week was good but today i felt meh..i mentioned everything except for the bee..i didnt want to sound crazy. oh and i forgot i got up saturday and that day at 4:40 on the dot (and i never get up that early and couldnt go back to sleep on saturday but sunday hours later i did). so dm said maybe the 4:40 is Scripture base so she went to Isiah (i dont remember what scripture) and said does anything resonate with me ..i read and said no but then i got to isiah 40:31 "Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary." And i said omg! I just drew that after my session and i showed her my drawing. I told her lately i have had a thing with eagles and i was talking to my best friend and the vision that eagles had. She talked about eagles being prophetic. i asked why she went to Isiah and she said these are Isiah times...if you notice most churches are reading out of that book. I hadnt really notice and i was still meh so i was like i take your word for it. She said didnt you tell me God wanted you to enlarge your vision in the beginning of the year and i said yes and then you are thinking of eagles and this Scripture about mounting up..God is strengthening for his intended purpose. he's reminding you that you will gain new strength. And we prayed and she asked me describe this meh feeling ..even draw it and it was a sun that was covered up by black and browns (buried even). she said this to me shows your light is being covered. by what is the question? You talked about witnessing your life in a balloon..are you unhappy and i said no. she said do you think threes anything that is keeping you from being all God has called you to be. I immediately said my inadequacy i never feel like im good enough and thats theres always someone better and my hubby said thats crap and i need to start seeing that it doesnt matter if theres someone else better. there's only one you and you are the best brand there is. DM said good hubby who seems to be in tuned to you and i said yeah very much. next thing i knew we talked about where the inadequacy stemmed from and i was like my dad and i was in tears and i had to draw it out,...the ugliness i felt and who i was now. pray for my dad cause i know he didnt know what he was doing and even though i felt healed of all that he did i was still carrying that inadequacy to some degree and until i let that go i wouldnt be able to have that true freedom i want. DM prayed and i felt better like that..like 70%. Then she said something that left me like what...she said "I feel it to be a true honor to teach you Stephanie you and your husband will do great things in the creative world and im glad that i am the one chosen to help you uncover your true self. She said i have been thinking of you all week and i was going to send you something but didnt but it seems to talk to the exact place you are.it had me in tears. She also said i want to offer you something and i wast you to pray on it. i think it would be beneficial for you to come more than once every two weeks..i see that God is talking to you through your art and i think it should be explored more often. she said im willing to offer you a reduced price of 2 hours per week of $60 less than what the studio charges at my home. i had a look of thats great but i cant afford it. she said no matter of fact i want you to pay me that you can. if you can some weeks great if you cant thats fine too. its not about money its about cultivating all those things that God is doing and showing you in the woman he created you to be pray on and let me know (i was in tears). Because that morning i said i wish i could do more sessions but i cant afford it except every pay day but i should be cutting back cause this time was to allow me to pay a bill down. But look what the Lord has done. sovereign surprises i think. so i went back and forth on her offer cause i was like thats not right for her. why would she do this. but days later God gave me peace and just said sovereign surprises..its a blessing take it so I did and told her we could start after her conference which i think is the 2nd or 3rd week in September.

Pastel Drawings after the Second Session

I just decided to copy what I told my best friend ...it describes how I felt when creating these items:
Ive had my second art session and can I just say I'm just stepping into the fullness I am in God. I feel this absolute freedom and my teacher DM is AMAZING!I'm in such a peace filled freedom space and it feels amazing. I had this powerful thing happen to me on Tuesday.I was on the subway and had the urge to draw when I got home (which never happens on my commute). Let alone specific things..1. was me in a doorway and the second drawing was my brother. I put on my ipod and i was such in an intense zone. J said later when i talked to him i looked possessed. lol! But this zone increased more when it came time for my brother. I'm using my pastel and the next thing I knew I started writing w my pastels (which isn't odd) but what i started writing was..it was so powerful and so the spirit of the Lord. The writing said " faith is mighty in the Lord. He will do great things to reach my people. Right now he's being built up in me. He's a seer for a reason." isn't that amazing. I totally had to share that with my brother and he was blown away because he's like "u just prophesized and your art was part of the conduit. Glory to God what he did through you". I agreed. It's like through my art I hear scriptures and everything its rather amazing.