I had such a rough week..nothing happened but alot of my friends are either stressed/depressed and since I'm so empathatic i have taken on their emotions.Also, im feeling less satisified with my job...I'm thinking and thinking how i can expand it and the direction it can go on but outside of general ideas I dont have anything. I did talk to my boss about myself and the other team members within my division that need developmental skills and i would be happy to be a coach per se. I also talked about how we are not sure how we fit in in this new strategic structiure..the vision for us etc. It was a really scary conversation because i never speak up and i was coming from a place of this is what i am and this is our team and what we need. I fekt empowered yet scared. My boss came back with exactly what i expected and appreciated...he has to noodle it and was glad that i approached him and whatever trainng i needed i can have it so i signed up for the coaching and mentoring seminar and strategic thinking for starters. But this week was really slow which can be good but not this week i was bored, exhausted emotionally and physically, and not knowing where to turn. i was also reminded to Be still and trust God is God. Hubby says its great that im feeling dissatisfication it means im ready to stretch myself. all i know is i needed some type of break because this heaviness was not moving despite my prayers and reading the word or maybe it was not moving fast enough as i saw it. Then it popped into my head i need a mental health day as my friend Cory calls it.
I planned to take one day (Thursday) because my co-worker has Friday off but my boss said to take off two days and i was going to object but Lord knows I needed it. So i planned to just totally veg out but of course days off always garner errands so i did those early in the morning and then planned a self love date with myself. While i was out i decided i wanted to have a sort of french theme so i got this lovely ham, onion, guyere cheese tart for lunch, a bottle of wine and flowers, cheese fondue for dinner along with spinach rivoli. For dessert blueberry tart and carrot cake. I'm watching a wonderful period piece Young Victoria which so far I'm really enjoying.
I needed to replenish my well which looks like is happening.I'm feeling 80% better with this day off. also i turned my phone off today so not to be distracted from filling my well.Overall im feeling like im breathing ..im relaxed and today was exactly what i needed.
New thoughts about a scripture i read
In finding a new devotional to read I came across this scripture:
Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.
Joshua 3:5
I love how that sounds and wondered the defination of consecrate. I feel like i have heard the term before but until now really want to hone in on the defination. I went straight to my life application bible which told me consecration is purfication. This was a ceremony that was often done by making a sacrifice or as in this case(this scripture) witnessing a great act of God. The bible goes on to say that God law in the OT stated several ways a person could be considered unclean and the various outward signs of uncleanniness to illustrate ma's inward uncleaness as a result of sin. The consecration ceremony shows the importance of approaching God with a pure heart. Very intresting..i wondered what else i may find on this topic. i found this article that mention in consecration our part and God's work together. Our part in consecration involves separating ourselves from evil by continually working with our heart so that we drink from earthly sources less and less all the time. But doing that is only half of what we can do for practical holy living. The other half of our part in consecration is that of actually drawing near to God and drinking. God designed us so that we have to be "drinking" from something. By our drinking from God, purity works it's way into our experience because enjoying God's presence becomes our preferred way of quenching our thirst, not sin or unwanted behaviors. By drinking from God, the earthly ways of unrighteous living become less and less attractive to us. But by our turning to God and drinking something else happens: God is able to do His part in consecrating us. By our drawing near to God and our letting Him draw near to us, God is able to prepares us for His use because He washes us holy all the while He is drawing near to us. We have to draw near to God so God will do his part.
I started thinking about consecreation and how tangible this word is. Think about our lives and gifts we want to use for God and for his purposes. Think about filling yourself up with God's word on a daily basis not only to strengthen you but because it is nourishment for your soul. Thinking about making God's business priority. think about making the first part of your day priority. I know my day is more beautiful when i start it with the Lord. I'm reminded now of this scripture which is becoming my favorite: John 15:5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
OMG! That closeness with the wonderful Lord that you cant even tell the vine from the branches because you are that tightly woven into each other. I found this excerpt that i think is a perfect closing to this post.
The Christ touch upon our lives, that is what we want for the best and greatest
service in God's Kingdom. I wonder how many of you have kept a quiet time alone with Christ today? I wonder how many of you have formed the habit of keeping a daily quiet hour, a quiet half hour, a quiet quarter of an hour, or even a quiet ten minutes alone with Jesus Christ? Friends, until we have formed that habit, I don't believe it is possible for us to know the blessing and the power of the Master's touch upon our lives. ... There are three essentials for communing with God: sincerity, concentration of mind and consecration of life. I can think of no time, when the soul so fully meets these conditions, as when we are alone with God. ... The quiet hour is not a time for morbid meditation, nor for careless and mechanical reading of the Bible, nor for offering thoughtless prayers: it is a time when you shall become acquainted with yourself. If we would give to God our best moments; if we would give to Him a fresh mind, a quiet spirit, and a receptive heart, then we must make the quiet hour a morning watch. We, too, must heed those classic words of advice which Ruskin gave to the students of Oxford: "Read your Bible. Make it the first morning business of your life to understand some of it clearly, and your daily business to obey it in all that you do understand." ... The keeping of the morning watch may mean less sleep, the forming of a new habit; it may mean self-denial and real sacrifice; but if it be God's will that we should seek Him first each day, He will give us grace and strength to pay the cost.
—Olive Russell, The Baptist Chronicle, Alexandria, La., Jan. 15, 1914
Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.
Joshua 3:5
I love how that sounds and wondered the defination of consecrate. I feel like i have heard the term before but until now really want to hone in on the defination. I went straight to my life application bible which told me consecration is purfication. This was a ceremony that was often done by making a sacrifice or as in this case(this scripture) witnessing a great act of God. The bible goes on to say that God law in the OT stated several ways a person could be considered unclean and the various outward signs of uncleanniness to illustrate ma's inward uncleaness as a result of sin. The consecration ceremony shows the importance of approaching God with a pure heart. Very intresting..i wondered what else i may find on this topic. i found this article that mention in consecration our part and God's work together. Our part in consecration involves separating ourselves from evil by continually working with our heart so that we drink from earthly sources less and less all the time. But doing that is only half of what we can do for practical holy living. The other half of our part in consecration is that of actually drawing near to God and drinking. God designed us so that we have to be "drinking" from something. By our drinking from God, purity works it's way into our experience because enjoying God's presence becomes our preferred way of quenching our thirst, not sin or unwanted behaviors. By drinking from God, the earthly ways of unrighteous living become less and less attractive to us. But by our turning to God and drinking something else happens: God is able to do His part in consecrating us. By our drawing near to God and our letting Him draw near to us, God is able to prepares us for His use because He washes us holy all the while He is drawing near to us. We have to draw near to God so God will do his part.
I started thinking about consecreation and how tangible this word is. Think about our lives and gifts we want to use for God and for his purposes. Think about filling yourself up with God's word on a daily basis not only to strengthen you but because it is nourishment for your soul. Thinking about making God's business priority. think about making the first part of your day priority. I know my day is more beautiful when i start it with the Lord. I'm reminded now of this scripture which is becoming my favorite: John 15:5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
OMG! That closeness with the wonderful Lord that you cant even tell the vine from the branches because you are that tightly woven into each other. I found this excerpt that i think is a perfect closing to this post.
The Christ touch upon our lives, that is what we want for the best and greatest
service in God's Kingdom. I wonder how many of you have kept a quiet time alone with Christ today? I wonder how many of you have formed the habit of keeping a daily quiet hour, a quiet half hour, a quiet quarter of an hour, or even a quiet ten minutes alone with Jesus Christ? Friends, until we have formed that habit, I don't believe it is possible for us to know the blessing and the power of the Master's touch upon our lives. ... There are three essentials for communing with God: sincerity, concentration of mind and consecration of life. I can think of no time, when the soul so fully meets these conditions, as when we are alone with God. ... The quiet hour is not a time for morbid meditation, nor for careless and mechanical reading of the Bible, nor for offering thoughtless prayers: it is a time when you shall become acquainted with yourself. If we would give to God our best moments; if we would give to Him a fresh mind, a quiet spirit, and a receptive heart, then we must make the quiet hour a morning watch. We, too, must heed those classic words of advice which Ruskin gave to the students of Oxford: "Read your Bible. Make it the first morning business of your life to understand some of it clearly, and your daily business to obey it in all that you do understand." ... The keeping of the morning watch may mean less sleep, the forming of a new habit; it may mean self-denial and real sacrifice; but if it be God's will that we should seek Him first each day, He will give us grace and strength to pay the cost.
—Olive Russell, The Baptist Chronicle, Alexandria, La., Jan. 15, 1914
Feelings about 47 day journal
Can i say im disappointed in the 47 day journal? I was expecting it to be a little more than it is. The introduction sounded great but after reading the scriptures and answering the same questions day after day its starting to get boring and i would like to complete the 47 day journal but im no longer intrested in wasting my time with things that i dont feel passionate about so Im going to find something else instead. Two good things came out of the 47 day journal: discovered a few areas that i need to work on and 2. forming a habit of reading the word on a regilar basis.
Weekend Plans Did Not Happen
I was soo looking forward to volunteering at the womens shelter community garden on Saturday and wouldnt you know I got lost and never found it. It was a suspicious neighborhood and i really didnt want to ask anyone for directions and the organizer did not give her number. I was so pissed especially since 1. Yvonne (aka as period) was visting and i literally had to drag myself out of bed and 2. i was lost and disappointed. Then Sunday i wanted to go to the Fricks museum but again yvonne reared her ugly head so i stayed inside and i didnt even realize until later it was Sunday because i missed church.
Lately i noticed the rare times when I am in a sour mood God gives me perspective (maybe he always has and i havent noticed it until now). Hubby told me one of his friends Anthony saw his ex girlfriend get shot dead. I was horrified by the news and lifted Anthony and his ex girlfriend family in prayer. missing meetups and cramps is nothing in comparison to someone seeing a person they love shot. senseless killings i never will understand it and until now didnt know anyone who has been shot or had someone they love be shot. This is so sad.This made me think about this life in broader terms.
In this life i dont believe God wants us to compare our lives with someone else because we all are on distinct walks. I also don't think we should ignore problems but i do believe God gives us perspective for a reason..to look above and not at our circumstance. i see why God wants us to love our neighbors. I see why God does not want us to focus solely on our problems and wants us to keep one another lifted in prayer.This actually sort of reminds me of last sunday in church where the pastor says he wants us to go on prayer walks ..basically pick a neighborhood and pray for the people in that neighborhood for 10-15 minutes. What a beautiful gesture!
Lately i noticed the rare times when I am in a sour mood God gives me perspective (maybe he always has and i havent noticed it until now). Hubby told me one of his friends Anthony saw his ex girlfriend get shot dead. I was horrified by the news and lifted Anthony and his ex girlfriend family in prayer. missing meetups and cramps is nothing in comparison to someone seeing a person they love shot. senseless killings i never will understand it and until now didnt know anyone who has been shot or had someone they love be shot. This is so sad.This made me think about this life in broader terms.
In this life i dont believe God wants us to compare our lives with someone else because we all are on distinct walks. I also don't think we should ignore problems but i do believe God gives us perspective for a reason..to look above and not at our circumstance. i see why God wants us to love our neighbors. I see why God does not want us to focus solely on our problems and wants us to keep one another lifted in prayer.This actually sort of reminds me of last sunday in church where the pastor says he wants us to go on prayer walks ..basically pick a neighborhood and pray for the people in that neighborhood for 10-15 minutes. What a beautiful gesture!
Exploring the City
I'm having a great time exploring the city (museums, food, outings). The more I'm out in the city the more I love this city. There's so much to do. I feel like my weekends im really taking the time to breathe in the day that God is blessing me with whether i have a planned event or I'm walking down the street and being still and really look at the colors, feel the wind... just allow myself to slow time in this fast paced city.
Food/Drinks
-I found a new restaurant-Anja Bar (i LOVE the space and the food) but it does not love my pocket so i know i will not be doing a 3 course dinner with them for awhile...definitely on the pricier side. But the appetizer(vegetable spring roll which btw i typically hate spring rolls) and entree (spicy maya shrimp with coconat basmati rice) was delicious...the dessert which was unmemborable was not.
-Dessert Crawl (anyone who really knows me knows i love desserts). It's only fitting I found a group that meets monthly and try different desserts (my rationalization is this wont interfere with my weight loss journey because its only once a month). This months crawl was a cupcake crawl (2 of the places Ive been too before, 1 place was new and their speciality is bread but now they've expanded to cupcakes (they should stick with what they know..cupcake was terrible). The fourth place is called Sweet Revenge....OMG! The best cupcake place YET. I love Crumbs because of the variety but my my Sweet Revenge cupcakes are decadent. The two cupcakes I had was: Mayan Chocolate – Cinnamon Chocolate Cake with Cinnamon Chocolate Buttercream and Carnivale – Mexican Vanilla Cake, Spiced Apple Filling, Salted Caramel Frosting. soo good. its just so hard to find.
-Sake Tasting (which was great because ive always wanted to try Sake). i found two that was alright..i didnt love them but out everything i tried i would buy it : Dewazakura Tobiroka Sparkling Sake "Festival of Stars" (Yamagata Prefecture) and Kamoizumi Komekome Speciality Sake "Happy Bride:
-Ayza Wine & Chocoalte Bar-- (this has been on my list since one of my first visits to NY when i got lost and i said now is the time to cross it off my list. I ordered an appetizer wild mushroom tart which was pretty good and my free Sangria for liking them on facebook was enjoyable. the highlight of the meal was the chocolate: was decent but i loved my new favorite chocolate: Martine's piano (so cute an actua chocolate piano with caramel...yummy; Jacques Torres Love bug ...favorite chocolate EVER..i LOVE white chocolate but was not sure how i would feel about the lime ganache inside. It just melted in my mouth.
Other Activities
Gun Range with Kym (it was alot of fun...i wasn't about the sport of hitting the target but the fun of just letting go ...i tell you i can see how it could be a stress relief)
Art Museums/Exhibits
I am taking advantage of pay as you wish days and free entry to see the museums on my list. Thus far I've seen:
-Whitney Museum
-MoMa (I haven't been here since when i was visiting hubby before we were married)--America Society had an exhibit that had artistic images in a slide show playing against a ballet--it was quite interesting in a good way
-Rubin Museum of Art
Food/Drinks
-I found a new restaurant-Anja Bar (i LOVE the space and the food) but it does not love my pocket so i know i will not be doing a 3 course dinner with them for awhile...definitely on the pricier side. But the appetizer(vegetable spring roll which btw i typically hate spring rolls) and entree (spicy maya shrimp with coconat basmati rice) was delicious...the dessert which was unmemborable was not.
-Dessert Crawl (anyone who really knows me knows i love desserts). It's only fitting I found a group that meets monthly and try different desserts (my rationalization is this wont interfere with my weight loss journey because its only once a month). This months crawl was a cupcake crawl (2 of the places Ive been too before, 1 place was new and their speciality is bread but now they've expanded to cupcakes (they should stick with what they know..cupcake was terrible). The fourth place is called Sweet Revenge....OMG! The best cupcake place YET. I love Crumbs because of the variety but my my Sweet Revenge cupcakes are decadent. The two cupcakes I had was: Mayan Chocolate – Cinnamon Chocolate Cake with Cinnamon Chocolate Buttercream and Carnivale – Mexican Vanilla Cake, Spiced Apple Filling, Salted Caramel Frosting. soo good. its just so hard to find.
-Sake Tasting (which was great because ive always wanted to try Sake). i found two that was alright..i didnt love them but out everything i tried i would buy it : Dewazakura Tobiroka Sparkling Sake "Festival of Stars" (Yamagata Prefecture) and Kamoizumi Komekome Speciality Sake "Happy Bride:
-Ayza Wine & Chocoalte Bar-- (this has been on my list since one of my first visits to NY when i got lost and i said now is the time to cross it off my list. I ordered an appetizer wild mushroom tart which was pretty good and my free Sangria for liking them on facebook was enjoyable. the highlight of the meal was the chocolate: was decent but i loved my new favorite chocolate: Martine's piano (so cute an actua chocolate piano with caramel...yummy; Jacques Torres Love bug ...favorite chocolate EVER..i LOVE white chocolate but was not sure how i would feel about the lime ganache inside. It just melted in my mouth.
Other Activities
Gun Range with Kym (it was alot of fun...i wasn't about the sport of hitting the target but the fun of just letting go ...i tell you i can see how it could be a stress relief)
Art Museums/Exhibits
I am taking advantage of pay as you wish days and free entry to see the museums on my list. Thus far I've seen:
-Whitney Museum
-MoMa (I haven't been here since when i was visiting hubby before we were married)--America Society had an exhibit that had artistic images in a slide show playing against a ballet--it was quite interesting in a good way
-Rubin Museum of Art
47 day journey-March 24th scripture
Luke 19:41-44
As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42 and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43 The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44 They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”
As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42 and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43 The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44 They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”
Figure Drawing
I had a wonderful time figure drawing weeks back. ive always wanted to do it but never found anything affordable and honestly didnt think i should waste my time because i could never draw people well. Well thank goodness for meetup...for fours hours we only paid $12 for two models.I love good deals! thank goodness for nurturing my inner artist..its not about what i think i can or can no do anymore..its about experimenting. since i had two other meetups that day i didnt want to carry my large art bag so i carried my sketchbook and a few large pieces of paper. At first the drawing looked TERRIBLE but as we went along i think they came out beautifully.I loved how it was a mixture of 5 minute sketches and 20 minutes and you can totally tell which in my drawings. I hope more figure drawing is scheduled as the months warm up. usually thats not the case because when it warms up my sketching group goes outside but you never know. i really loved the experience of drawing human bodies ...before now i didnt realize how much i like the curvature of the human body. its so beautiful. Hubby thought this is some of my best drawings yet due to the artistic expression when i drew the bodies. i'm not sure i agree but i do think its good for my first time figure drawing.
I'll add pics later.
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